Just a quick disclaimer i’m bad at explaining myself, if you need anything cleared up feel free to comment and let me know.

Here is a little backstory: I (17F) had my birthday on the 17th of my birth month. For my birthday I wanted to just chill and hang out with my friends. I was okay with not going anywhere, but my friend’s ex said she wanted to go to the fair. To find a common ground I suggested we go to the fair the day of and just hang out the day before. However, my friend M, (19M) and his ex K, (17F) broke up and I was told it 3-4 days before my birthday. I had already been going through a lot and was on close watch, directed by my therapist and parents. When I found out they broke up I offered to not have the party/sleepover because I wouldn’t be able to handle drama especially with my mental state at the time. K was my friend then, and told me that we were having the party and that was the end of it. M and K had been together 2 years prior and were basically first loves so I was okay with just having the party another time or having separate hang outs. I asked if she was okay and how she was doing and she dismissed me saying she was fine. K threw me a party and I genuinely loved it. I was very grateful and genuinely happy about it. At the sleepover the friend group had to stay outside multiple times because of drama between them. I stayed up till 4AM with my current boyfriend, J (18M) comforting M and tried to keep him from making any rash decisions the night of my birthday. J snapped on me multiple times when he was evidently still hurting (playing sad music on our party speaker, breaking apart from the group, pulling all the guys in our group away from the party to vent). Despite that I tried to remain there for them. My dad checked in on me the first day of the hang out and informed K’s parents what was going on with me and told them to watch me. The group asked me why my dad came over and I told them my situation. They pushed it aside and continued doing what they were doing. I asked if we could watch my favorite movie and they ignored me.

The next day before the fair M and K couldn’t ride in the same car together and caused an argument. Once we got the car arrangements in check everything was fine, until we met up with the rest of the group. A few of my friends and I expressed how we were going to immediately get tickets and go on the rides. K didn’t say anything and separated from the group to get food, and everyone followed her. I left and got tickets by myself, a little irritated but let it be. Everyone came while I was in line getting my tickets asking why I was upset, but I didn’t want to seem petty so I just told them I was overwhelmed. I got the tickets with my birthday money and went to ride rides. Half of the group joined me and the other half didn’t, which I was fine with. I told them I wanted to walk around, but they said they were going to meet another friend who just arrived. I said okay and went with them. My irritation grew and when I saw my friend I just cried. The lights and the sounds really bugged me so I ended up having a PTSD melt down (which I didn’t know at the time) at the fair and disassociated from everyone. My boyfriend took me to find silence and peace while the others hung out and had fun. The rest of the fair went fine until the end when K and M had another argument. K seemed really upset at me when we left the fair and was irritated at me being upset. We went back to the house and I just broke down to K’s mom about how I had been feeling relatively unimportant. Everyone had been catering to K the whole day and I just felt like I wasn’t enough. Her mom comforted me and I went to get ready to leave. Before the night ended one of my friends told me “You should have never had the party.”, we got kicked out of the house again for another argument, and K was really rude to me. I felt like maybe I was wrong to feel how I felt because she did throw the party for me.

When I got home I texted K about how sorry I was for my behavior at the fair because I didn’t understand what happened to me and what caused me to behave this way. She said that she felt I was ungrateful and I apologized once again and reassured her that I was very grateful.

When I got to school the next day K was cold to me and ignored me so I pulled a mutual friend aside and asked what was going on. She said she didn’t know and I left it at that. Later that day K texted me saying that I was talking bad about her, a bad friend, ungrateful, and overall just selfish. I was confused where she was coming from because I hadn’t said anything bad about her and wasn’t told about these feelings that she had towards me prior. I defended myself and we ended up having a really heated argument which broke our friendship. Everyone cut me off except my boyfriend. I confided in many people I found close to me and they said that I wasn’t at fault for doing what i wanted to do to protect myself at my birthday. My therapist was shocked. She said I let everyone do what they wanted to do despite them ignoring what I wanted to do. I still feel guilty and at fault.

M and I became friends again and he apologized for his behavior towards me after the party. Throughout our friendship it was obvious he villainized me and held the belief that the party fiasco was my fault over my head. He put his hands on me multiple times and was overall really mean and aggressive. My boyfriend stepped in on multiple accounts because he knew in my past I faced multiple things like this before, and I didn’t know it wasn’t normal.

K had something happen in her life and I reached out expressing my condolences but backtracked and asked M to deliver the message. K responded with “If G (Me) cared well then she would have told me herself.” I sent her a screenshot of my deleted message to her and left it at that.

Present time: M started dating my friend F (17N) and ended up cheating on her with K. That is none of my business, but my irritation comes from the whole birthday situation being blown up and me being criticized for having my party and being treated bad by both of them during my party, only for them to get back together. I cut M off and told him how disappointed and disgusted I was in his behavior. He called me the most disrespectful person he has ever interacted with. M tried to get my boyfriend on his “side.” Upon hearing this information from my boyfriend, I expressed my disdain on tiktok (I didn’t tag anyone nor disclose personal information in this tiktok). A week after posting it, mutual friends of M and K blew up my comments threatening me and trying to fight me.

Reflection; Upon reflection I could have definitely made better decisions and choices, and in no way am I innocent. However, I do feel like this situation is growing to something more than it is. Personally I feel very isolated because I’ve lost many friends. I notice I am the common denominator and I feel like maybe I am more in the wrong than the people around me tell me I am.I look forward to reading responses.

AITAH?