So, something really frustrating and emotionally draining has been going on in my life lately, and I need to vent it out. Maybe someone here can help me feel like I’m not the crazy one.

Let’s call the people involved:

•         R – a guy I was just friends with, but who constantly crossed boundaries and made me uncomfortable.

•         A – someone I considered a really close friend.

•         S – another friend who genuinely stood by me through this.

The Incident : R had been provoking me and poking at me for days – both subtly and directly. I ignored it, stayed unbothered, and tried to not make a scene. But it escalated when he started getting way too close physically while talking to me, even after I repeatedly told him to back off. It reached a point where I was feeling violated, and honestly, it triggered a full-on anxiety attack.

I expected A, my supposed close friend, to at least stand by me after what happened. And guess what? Initially, she pretended to be disgusted by R’s behavior. She even told me she “wouldn’t even like to see his face.” That comforted me for a minute.

But literally the same day, she texted R and had a whole conversation – one she never even mentioned to me. From that point on, she started roaming around with R constantly, laughing at his messages (some of which were clear jabs at me), and acting like nothing happened.

All of this while I was breaking down mentally.

S, my other friend, saw how shaken I was and stood up for me, especially since I wasn’t in a position to speak for myself. He understood what I was going through and supported me when no one else did. And what do A and R do in return? They start painting him as the villain, claiming they “weren’t comfortable” having S speak on my behalf – calling it “outside influence” (as shown in the screenshots). No. S was the only one who cared enough to check if I was okay.

 The Gaslighting Texts: Now, here’s the real kicker. The same people who ignored my boundaries and made me feel unsafe are suddenly acting like victims. They sent this long, polished message (see screenshots) saying:

“We just wanted to reach out one last time… every time we try to communicate, things turn into a fight.”

They say I didn’t show up to resolve things. But how could I, when I knew the whole setup was staged and emotionally manipulative? They called me during lunch and waited till 5 PM, and because I didn’t respond (while battling a literal anxiety attack), they’re using that against me now?

 Then they go on:

 “We just wanted a space without outside influence.”

 Translation: “We wanted to corner you without the only person who supports you around.”

They say I was hiding behind S, when in reality I wasn’t in a mental state to speak for myself. And they knew that. They even had the nerve to ask me if I “want to fix things or end it here for good.” Honestly, after the constant gaslighting, backstabbing, boundary-breaking, and fake concern? Yeah, I want to end it. But they’re trying to spin this as if I’m being unreasonable.

Why I’m Speaking Out: This isn’t just a petty friend fight. This is a case of a guy harassing me, a close friend betraying me, and both of them now trying to flip the script and make me look like the one who’s overreacting.

A kept saying she’s only talking to people who are “behind me” to tell them off – but really, she was playing both sides, enabling the same people who were trying to make me feel small.

 I introduced A to R. I trusted her. And now she’s teaming up with the very person who made me feel unsafe, acting like they’re the victims while I’m the one who’s been emotionally torn down.

Reddit, I’m not perfect. But I know I’m not wrong for cutting off people who crossed the line. I tried being calm, I tried keeping the peace – but I deserve to feel safe and respected.

 I’m at a loss here. I want to believe I’m in the right for wanting my personal space respected and for being clear about my boundaries. Yet, now I’m being painted as the bad guy while the two continue their behavior, acting as if I’m the one in the wrong.

So, Reddit, Am I at fault for standing up for myself? Or am I overreacting to what might just be harmless banter?
(I’ll be attaching the screenshots that highlight the double standards and victim-playing on their part.)