The title makes it seem like he is TA and he probably is, but I need perspective on my part.

Background information: My husband and I are muslims. I reverted 2.5 years ago. We have been together just over 3 years ago. My husband asked me to give up alcohol before I reverted. I didn't really have an issue with this because I had previously given up alcohol just because I could.

Our last two years of marriage has been filled with infidelity and gambling issues (all his issues).

I left him last month and told his parents and my parents everything about the infidelity issues. I returned to him because we have a 10 month old daughter and it was better/easier for everyone if I stayed with him. The unpredictable nature of his didn't make me feel secure in our separation agreements. I am terrified that he will take my daughter to his homeland. He said he wouldn't do that but I don't trust him. So I have decided to stay with him knowing that he will cheat again.

Anyway, when I got back with him I told him that I wanted to return to the woman I was before. Yes I am still muslim but I don't want to sacrifice anything anymore. This included not wearing hijab and drinking alcohol. He was okay with hijab but I guess he didnt realise that I meant alcohol too.

Current situation: Two nights ago I was feeling really stressed because of my little one, so I decided to have a drink of wine. He wouldn't look at me or talk to me afterwards. I found this to be incredibly hypocritical because of everything he has put me through, and he smokes cigarettes. He wouldn't even give me a chance to speak, he just ignored me. So I continued as usual.

Anyway, this morning my phone had a notification that he transferred 2000 euro into my account. When I looked, I couldn't see anything. Due to his previous gambling issues, I am the only one witth access to our savings account and we have a joint account for bills etc.

When I asked him about the 2000 euro, He acted like he was confused. I went into transaction history and seen all the transfers this morning. He came clean about the transfers and how he wanted to gamble everything because I had been drinking. He told me that he was so mad, went into my phone and transferred the money. He told me that he decided against the gambling but I seen a few transfers back and forth. So I am very skeptical that he didnt actually gamble.

Anyway, do I have a right to be mad even though I started it by drinking alcohol?

I just want to feel normal again. I have gained so much weight due to having the baby, my self esteem is super low and I feel like I have given up so much for a shit deal.