Dear Reddit,

Am I (30 F) the asshole? My husband(34 M)’s father passed away on Friday. I left work within 30 minutes to be with him. I joined him, after asking that he put it on speaker, on a family call where events leading to his death were discussed. Once that call ended it became clear that he would be buried quickly. His mom called immediately after and said he would need to come now if he wanted to make it to the funeral. I understood and went online to buy him his plane ticket to leave that same night. I helped him pack his bag, took him to the airport, and stayed with him throughout the whole time. My family brought lunch over and we ate together.

He got there on Saturday afternoon. I forgot to mention we have a daughter (6) and we both work full-time. My job has benefits and his does not. He will not be getting paid at all during this trip. I did not care, I knew he needed to be there. During the time he is gone, I will be taking care of our daughter, working full time, and taking care of our home.

So the funeral day comes (Monday). We had talked every night since he had been there. I went to work, I’m a teacher so I don’t have all the time in the world while I’m working, but I waited for the link to come. I didn’t get anything. After the funeral had passed, I saw that my brother-in-law had posted it on Instagram and Facebook stories along with his wife. They both live in the same state as we do. They both got the link. I was hurt, but I thought, well maybe they only sent it to him. When I got home from work that day, my daughter came to me and said “I saw daddy on a video, he was crying”. I looked at my mom and she told me that my mother-in-law had sent her the link.

I am so so so hurt by this. I understand that this is a difficult moment for them, but if my mother-in-law thought to send it to my mom, then she made a choice to not send it to me.

When I called my husband I lost it on him. I was screaming and yelling. I said how is this possible that you didn’t let me accompany you in your moment of grief, but all these other people could. I feel so betrayed, I don’t even want to see him again.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole?

Sincerely,

Broken-Hearted