I've been in this relationship for over 2 years, it's had a lot of ups but a lot of downs.. I was a dick to him when I met him cause my friend convinced me at the time he was manipulative. I realized he wasn't and I feel so so horrible for how I treated him in one conversation in early 2022. But I've learned from that and I just always think about the limited time we have in life. I just wanna cherish every moment we have cause I love him more than anything. But most of the time in our relationship he's been so distant. Sometimes not talking over mental health for two weeks. About two months ago he told me he fell out of love with me and that broke me so much. But he's went back on his word about that and feels bad. But I still got this feeling cause he never tells me he loves me and never shows any affection. He says it's because he's dealing with some personal things in his head so he can't focus on love cause it could distract him. I've been completely understanding of that, doing my best to give him space for these last few months. But I haven't seen anything different happen and sometimes I worry I could be wasting my time but I also feel that sounds so insensitive to him so I can't think like that. He tells me I lack empathy for his issues and every time I've ever tried by best to let him know an issue I feel in a gentle manor it always comes back to an issue I have mentally and says he can't reassure himself with us unless I find some way to help my brain with therapy or something. I love him but I'm at a breaking point. My parents are very supportive and they think I might be wasting my life with someone with no plan cause he lives in the US and I live in Canada. And I want to see him but he says he can't cause of mental stuff even if I'm willing to take a trip there. I just want to feel loved and I don't wanna seem needy cause I love and enjoy my time alone. But I lived with my last partner for 2 years and it was an amazing adventure for me at the time and I would love to live with my current partner. Anyways I just don't know what to think cause we had a conversation last night where I told him lightly that I need a bit more from him. Because I never have fun with him anymore. Whenever I try to talk about something fun like video games or movies we both love he shuts it down saying he shouldn't think about fun things right now cause he needs to focus on his mental health. So I comply and totally understand.. but then we say nothing at all and he deafens on discord. And sometimes he tells me about how much he loves his friends so much and how much they mean to him and of course I'm supportive of him and listen, it's just.. he almost cries with how much he cares for them. One time he sent a pic to me of him and his friend who's straight sitting on his bed together. I don't think he'd ever do anything un faithful, he's a good guy and usually never into other guys. But it does feel a bit odd, just a tiny bit, but I always give him the benefit of the doubt no matter. I feel stuck and not sure what to do. I'm sorry for my rambling. But I care for him so much and it hurts me so much when he says I don't understand him. I want to understand him better if I can but I'm running out of options What do I do? And am I the asshole? Idk.. I just want to help.