Hi all. Iam 38 Male and living with my wife married 10 years. We live not far away from my grandparents, moms parents. My mom has 2 sister 1 also lives close by, 1 lives 600km (375 miles) away and mom lives 200km (125miles) away. My grandparents are now getting older 80+ they are extremely loving and sweet, but the issues are now starting to set in, my moms 2 sisters are not (I feel are not stepping up to any frail care duties) and are just sitting back and waiting for me or my mum from 200kms away ( 125 miles) to manage the health conditions, mum never worked or drove dad has always taken care of her and still does. Sisters seem to be expecting her to be the care giver every time. On the flipside ( gran just turned 80 in December 2024) The 2 sisters were all show and shine party planing getting everything arranged from short and long distance, getting their children ( 16 to 24) to liase and plan speeches and even take them to get outfits. They also booked a 1 week trip (3 sisters the 1 actually flew in leaving her husband and 3 girls to make the trip and my grandparents)away on the spur of the moment trip. 1 example. Years ago when I was still in school grand dad broke his legs, so happen to be my school Holidays my family came down and we spent the 3 weeks taking care and helping gran. There are many more of such situations ( grand broke his leg again, broke his wrist, medical appointments, banking trips...more...) its now starting to feel like when ever they are unwell its my family's duty to do the work, but when its show, shine and glamour the other 2 jump. FYI mum S1, stay home mum dad does just fine they have a good life retired.(We are blue collar workers, and do ok) S2 Doctor with private practice, hubby is partner in a laboratory company S3 Engineer, hubby also engineer. So money is not the issue here and grandparents have a enough for them and their medical.

I have stepped back from being a do boy and stopped my wife to. ( we are doers caring and want to help and this is whats actually eating me up because I feel we are being used) and the only reason for posting So has my dad, but its causing turmoil between my mum and dad, previously he would do everything like a handyman and a do boy also. Fix toilets lights take them shopping they where they like to...

Now gran has a pinched cyatic nerve...and the 1 sister is only doing her doctor duties nothing more as a child. The other is away on anniversary holiday with husband only, nudging my mum to do something....

There is so much more I could put in like Covid the way we did everything for them AITAH for not doing things anymore ... So I can set boundaries. What about my mum and dad.