So as the title says, I (35f) told my husband (40m) I felt like maybe he liked me to stay at home because then he knows where I'm at and now he's mad. Married 9 yrs, total 16 together. 2 kids 6m and almost 1yr f

I usually try not to stir the pot but I've been having some strong feelings of being trapped and isolated the last year and I let the comment slip. For a little context our oldest is 6 and up until last May I was working full time (although making less than my husband). Our youngest will be 1 this upcoming May and with childcare costs we both decided I would stay home. Without my income we are just making it by each month from what I can gather (husband handles all the bills and finances). When I was working, we didn't have a joint account so he just grabbed my debit toXLa pay bills and whatever else I guess we needed and if I needed to grab something for the house he'd give it back. I occasionally went to work social gatherings/events, had a girl's night every few months, lunch with friends every couple months. Since I stopped working and income is non existent I haven't had access to any money. My husband goes to the grocery store after work and if I need something I ask and if he can afford it I usually get it as long as it's something small. I don't ask for clothes or shoes and make do with what I have and can alter at home. I don't really get to have social time anymore unless the whole family comes along and so our friends are only mutual and he seems to always find something about any new friend I make that he doesn't like. Or they just end up not liking him at all and as someone who loves him I can't continue those friendships. My husband can 100% handle the kids and baby sleeps through the night in her crib, my son will play on his tablet quietly when needed. He just hates the idea of me out alone having a drink with one of the girls I know. He has made me feel absolutely horrible and like the worst mom before for it in the past. I've always been a social butterfly, I used to be such a fun bubbly happy person but I feel so guilty about acting that way and have become a lot more reserved as not to stir the pot. He's loud and can be a bit crude with his opinions but also shy and doesn't like to be around new people. I definitely cut back on social gatherings since we started dating.

Before people jump, he does a lot. He works full time plus overtime and sometimes weekends, he helps with the housework, does the laundry, and is an active Dad. I get he is tired and has a lot of pressure on his shoulders.

Currently I have not left the apartment complex in about 10 days. I don't have much gas in the car and no money to my name. I feel guilty asking and it's usually met with a "we just don't have the extra money for that" so I'm reluctant to even ask, it feels selfish. My husband gets up at 4 am for work and gets home between 3-5pm. The baby gets up at 5-6am and I get my oldest up at 7am for school and walk him to the bus then I'm home with the baby cleaning and playing most of the day plus tending to our 3 animals. My son gets off the bus at 3:15 so I go get him and come home to fix a snack and go over homework. Then we go outside for an hour, come home, make dinner, get him ready for bed while my husband gets the baby down. I wake up with both kids throughout the night and do it again. This last week my son has been on spring break and it's been rough. He has severe ADHD and I am constantly having to remind him to follow rules and instructions and he is quite clumsy so lots of spills and messes. Plus hubby has had a high sex drive this week. I'm mentally burnt out and I just want to have a more than a minute to myself.

What led up to the comment was that I had been repeatedly trying to express how much of a break I needed and he wasn't really acknowledging me just looking down at his phone and saying yeah. I told him I was started to feel like my life was confined to being a housewife and mother and hadn't even left the apartment grounds which he replied "so sorry" in an annoyed tone. That's when I followed up with telling him I felt maybe he liked having me home so he knew where I was. He got pissed and immediately started getting louder and angry saying he was pissed and baffled how I can imply he's some controlling asshole. And in the back of my mind sometimes I DO wonder if he's intentionally making things more difficult for me in order for me to just not do anything outside of the home. Im not asking for a monthly break but every few months when things have been particularly rough just for a night to go out and be myself without having to wait on everyone and deal with everyone's problems or needs for a little bit.

I might still be the asshole for my delivery though. So reddit. AITAH?