On Thursday night my friend asked me to hang out on a national holiday and we made plans to meet up. Friday I told my boyfriend about it and he was not happy and felt upset. He said that he tried to make plans with me for that specific date and I kept turning him down. I was confused because according to me, we have not made these supposed plans. I asked him when we made those plans and what we were going to do. He said he has asked me a lot of times and it’s irrelevant, because it’s not going to happen anyways.

We exchanged words and went back and forth with each other. Because I was trying to get info on “the plans” we made and I didnt understand where this feeling is coming from. Monday I was doing my hair so we didn’t meet up. However I asked him if he wanted to go to the cinema on Wednesday and he said yes. Tuesday I asked him what his plans were and he was going to meet up with a friend in the evening. He did ask me if I wanted to go on a walk before he went to his friend, but I wasn’t up for it. Wednesday we went to the cinema and no mention of the public holiday was made. Thursday I asked him if he had any plans and he only said going out to eat with his father and brother. In the evening he asked if I wanted to meet up and I told him no, because it was too late for me.

At the end from the messages it was clear that it wasn’t about me meeting up with a friend on the public holiday, but more the attempts he made to meet up and the public holiday made him more upset. I told him that I am not apologising, because I haven’t done anything wrong. He can feel upset, however all the attempts to meet up were last minute and wasn’t planned. Also he already made his own plans and didn’t tell me until I asked.

On Saturday and I texted him in the morning and after that I did not hear anything from him for the rest of the day until I texted him that his silence is very clear to me.

This is what he said (rough translation): “What should I have reached out about? That I’m feeling a type of way, which I had already told you? Nothing has changed about that. I find it strange, like I said before, so I haven’t felt the need to talk to you. By the way, I also don’t need to see you for now since you’ve been in a crowd. I’m already feeling kind of sick, and I’m not interested in getting even sicker. Usually with a crowd like that, you catch at least a flu.”

What I gathered is that he doesn’t want to talk it out because of his feelings and he doesn’t want to see me because he wants to prioritise his health, but he was out and about himself (I have his location).

My response to him was: “Since you have indicated that you have no desire to stay in contact because of your feelings, there is no need to be in this relationship. Let me know when you’re available to collect your thing.”

He told me that I was childish and petty for sending the message. Also that I have no consideration for his feelings and I’m selfish. AITAH?