As childish as it sounds I tried my best to be an adult in the situation. I’m the oldest sister of my family and I’m 27 if that matters.

For over a year now I’ve been around my sister (24 ~let’s call her Maggie) and brother in law (33?~let’s call him Stan) more frequently. I moved closer over a year ago to be able to be around my sister and I have a cute baby nephew.

When I moved here I was climbing out of a dark depression. And I know I wasn’t fully there and maybe a lot more self centered in my own little depressed world. I know I wasn’t fully there. Maggie and Stan had moved to where we live a year before I moved there. When they moved they brought a friend with them. Now I know my brother in law would take pain meds back home before they moved there. I knew these where the bad pain meds. But I thought my sister had things handled idk I wasn’t really present. I feel so stupid now.

Well, the friend that moved with them passed away a few months after they moved. He passed away in my sister apartment. I can’t remember if she was in there or not when it happened but she found him dead in his room. He overdosed. He apparently had a heroin addiction. This woke my sister up up for a second.

Maggie works really hard. She is so so smart and she honestly is a better human than I am I truly believe this. Everyone around her relays on her! She is literally a superwoman.

Once Maggie found her friend dead in her apartment she started questioning Stan. Stan in fact also had a addiction problem as well. When she found out she tried to do her best to keep things on the low and do things on the low because she is traumatized from foster care. We grew up in foster care. So she didn’t want them to get involved. But because she can only do so much Stan was drug tested for only heroin randomly by her for only a few months.

During this time I moved to closer to them. I noticed that coke was still around. I am actually very uncomfortable with drugs. Because I saw how much my mom struggled growing up. She was a meth addict. And all of us kids faced the consequences of our mother being a drug addict.

Because I was so uncomfortable being around it I eventually expressed to Maggie how I didn’t find that to be healthy especially because she has a two year old. So she hid it better. She also would take Adderall in college. She enjoyed it a lot. There was a moment where I enjoyed it with her while we were in college. (4/5 years ago) But we never had a prescription. And I had an experience where It made me realize how I definitely shouldn’t be taking that and I saw how my life could be if I continued so I completely stopped after a year.

My history with drugs are more of the hippy side besides the Adderall. I would smoke weed and experiment with mushrooms. And I still smoke weed to this day but I really don’t do anything but a cup of coffee and my nicotine stick. I don’t drink alcohol unless I’m trying to be social at a party. But you know everyone has a past and I have a past with my own things. With time I’ve become more focused in living in the current world. Like I want to be my full self with no drugs. I go to therapy twice a month and I work hard to keep myself in a good state of mind with no medication for my depression or anxiety. I honestly feel a million times better today than I have a year ago even three years ago! And because of that I have become more “against” drugs you could say. Well, my sister definitely thinks I’m like a narc now or something. But like I honestly don’t care about drugs unless it has an impact in my life. And I’ll still smoke a bowl!

I currently think it has an impact in my life. Not from me. But maybe from Maggie and Stan. Once I expressed concern it immediately got flipped into I was judging and attacking. So things where hidden better. My sister got prescribed adderall for her ADHD. Which she might have but I question if that is the right diagnosis for her mental state. I see indications like a rolled up dollar bill and a plate with a card near by. Things like that. Stan has a friend around who wasn’t the nicest person to my brother and also had to go to rehab for what Maggie told me was for “weed”. Lol

So Maggie and my relationship with each other felt like it was getting distanced for awhile because I would see something and then say something. And I mean it out of concern from our past not that I don’t think she is a good person or that she lacks ability. It’s that I saw our past and I feel sometimes it’s coming into her present. I eventually started walking on eggshells to hold onto any hope of a relationship with Maggie or my nephew because at a point I just felt like she thought I was mothering her which I mean maybe I was a little idk.

Stan and I had a really cool brother and sister relationship when I first met him. I was so happy for them and they were so cute together. Well, the relationship we had got completely destroyed when he got into my sister and and I’s argument about our brother. Stan started getting physical with me and shoved me to the ground and fucked my leg up. Since that point, my view of Stan has gotten smaller and smaller. With every bit of bad he does I don’t like him more. At this point I might as well say my sister deserves so much better. He also sits on his Xbox and calls out of work while my sister works two jobs. And then ask me for money to help pay rent.

Well my breaking point was when I found out my sister had to put her dog down. I found out she took her dog to the vet wayyyyy too late and called me crying at 1am the day before talking about how she needs thousands of dollar for a surgery she actually didn’t even get him looked at to see if he needed. She called a vet number and they said he probably has “this” and “that” and it’s estimated to be thousands of dollars for “that” and “this”. But when she took him to the vet he was so sick he had to be put down. On the phone call I wasn’t nice. I thought she called for money (which is common and we got a chunk of money that has kept me on my feet for awhile that she blew threw after 6months). I also thought at that point all that was happening was she thought her dog was losing weight because of worms. I had no idea how bad things actual where. I was out of town for the last month on a business trip. I also found out that people where expressing concern about her dog weeks before she took him to the vet. Over all, I was extremely disappointed because I felt as if there was a bit of neglect with her dog.

But, I didn’t handle it well, being there for my sister when she called me.

It hit me that maybe the dog was neglected and I don’t think Maggie is that person and like there is too much other stuff happening for me not to believe that the focus for them isn’t normal or right and maybe things are actually toxic? After all of that happening and all the other things I learned about after her dog got put down I was so disappointed. And honestly I’m scared. I’ve been clocking all these things happening and saying something only to Maggie thinking she has things under control. After all of this I realized it’s bad. Or we’ll I think it is. And maybe Maggie doesn’t have it under control?

I thought about what I should do. Maybe an intervention? What do they do? So I thought I’ll call my sisters mother in law and tell her my concerns. She is an adult who has more authority than I do that cares as much as I do and maybe she can help me navigate all of what I’ve been seeing and see what steps we need to take. We can deal with it together.

So I called. It was hard at first because immediately she went on defense and was like “they would never”. But after I explained “look I don’t think they are bad people I’m concerned. Other people are calling me and they are concerned“ and I told her everything I’ve seen. Everything I’ve herd. Everything. I also ask her to pleaseeeee keep it between me and her because otherwise I think stan and maggie will think I’m just shit talking when that isn’t what I’m trying to do. So she agreed! She told me we can figure it out together.

At the end of the conversation it feels like she gets it. She knows I’m just concerned and that we can work together to figure this out. To figure out if there is even a problem. So we hang up the phone and I felt good like I did the right thing I guess.

Welllllllll two weeks have pasted. And I got a text from Maggie and Stan basically saying I’m never allowed to see my nephew again. How could I go behind there back and go to his mom and that they are never speaking to me again. I haven’t herd from the mother in law since we spoke on the phone. But from what it sounds like apparently it seems like she told them everything.

I’m a bit heart broken and a bit taken a back. I feel like an asshole. I feel like I’ve lost a part of my life. And I know there is no recovering from that. I tried to reach out to the mother in law and ask her what happened and she has totally ignored me.

AITAH?