Me (26F) am the eldest of three siblings. Since I was a child, I was raised to figure life out on my own and to do so by my own means. About 3 years ago, I started my own tote bags business. I had no idea how to do that— materials, suppliers, commercial finances. Nothing. Against all odds, I pushed through. It took months of research, reading and drafting, while exhausted from my bad paying and toxic job, that I came up with my brand and found the courage to put myself out there. It's not big in comparison to so many others but it has blossomed into a heartwarming community of locals and local artists supporting each other.

Now, onto the problem: I'm currently unemployed and what used to be a passive income business turned into my primary income. I've been creating more pieces, distributed them, and searched for new stores to sell to.

My (22F) sister is the most creative person I know and incredibly talented as well. Among those qualities, she's great at drawing and coloring, perfect to represent the amazing realms she imagines; a vibe that's different to my style. Because of that, she's decided she'd like to use tote bags as a medium to share her art, which I was more than happy to support and encourage. Here's where I might be the a-hole:

I started noticing the scales tipping in a way that started to make my heart feel heavy. I got asked to share my supplier, to help adapt her art to the medium, to order the pieces, how much to sell them for and where to do so. Nonetheless, I pushed the feelings to the back of my mind, thinking that I was being selfish for not wanting to help my little sister thrive because, if I don't do it, no one else would. If I'm not the person I once needed when I started, they won't have anyone.

Without noticing, anger started to boil— or so I thought. It was sadness over all the times I had to push through because no one in my family really believed in me; frustration over all the time of my life I've spent to being able to move just one step forward yet they just need to ask me; grief over feeling I was losing a part of my personality that was only mine (eldest siblings know what I mean), shame for feeling like I was being the worst sister in the world.

I couldn't take it any longer and decided to speak up. In the past, my sister and I didn't have the closest relationship, especially when it came to vulnerable conversations. We were raised being invalidated and without knowing how to regulate our feelings to not be hurtful. I've caused my fair share of emotional scars. Because of that, I went to therapy.

I found what I thought was a good time to talk and when we were alone. I told her how important the business was to me, how I felt like I was giving it away, how much effort and resources I had to invest to get the knowledge of the market I had. My sister understood what I meant but I could see how sad she felt. She asked, "why did you support me then?". I explained, "i really didn't know I was going to feel this way. At first, I really wanted to support you. As the oldest sister, I love help you grow and succeed. I didn't say anything before because I wasn't sure of how I really felt and why".

So reddit, aitah?