Hi everyone. Please read my post, this is a cry for help.

I’m a 22-year-old woman. Since childhood, I’ve lived under strict control from my parents, and I was often physically abused by my brother. It got to the point where he completely controlled me, beat me, and broke my sense of self.

When I was 19, they tried to force me into marriage. I ran away, but my brother found me and brought me back. I was deeply traumatized. My mom hated me and even wished for my death. I fell into a deep depression.

Now I want to leave, but my mom always threatens to kill herself if I go. She is a bit sick, and I worry about her, but I can’t live my whole youth trapped in these four walls. I feel like I’ll die here.

No one will let me go, so I’ll have to escape. But I’ve developed this helplessness — I feel like I’m not capable of doing anything, not even the simplest job. I feel like I won’t survive in a new country. It’s like hell. My brain and my family are my enemies.

What should I do, guys? Will I be able to survive in a new country? Was it right for me to try to escape?

(I described everything very shortly)