So, I was in love with this girl, but we weren’t dating. I mean, hell, the girl literally told me to wait until May to make it official.

Anyway, I decided to believe her because her reasoning was that we had too much going on in our lives to actually date. Seeing that there was no way to fight it, I reluctantly agreed to wait. A few weeks passed, and I basically already saw this girl as mine. We were talking for hours on end every single day, and I knew everything there was to know about her. Some of it was too much to handle, honestly, but I didn’t care at the time because I really did love her.

For the whole month of February, I was feeling down and distracted because of something my ex had told me about being a bad person. It had been eating at me for weeks. Every time I tried to talk about it with the girl, she immediately responded with claims of me still being obsessed with my ex and not being over her. This led me to falsely end the subject by telling her I was fine, and honestly, now that I think about it, I was definitely wrong for that.

Fast forward a few days later: I was in a class with my ex, just staring at her and constantly thinking about what she said to me. Was I really that bad to her? Was I evil like she said? I didn’t know, but I decided to ignore these thoughts since I really didn’t want to lose the girl I already had. But then, as I was leaving the class, I impulsively went up to my ex and told her that we needed to talk. I immediately made it clear that I didn’t want her back and just needed to be at peace with things. She agreed, and we began talking. Most of the conversation was about how I wanted to make myself a better person for the girl I was with because I wanted to be the best I could be for when we eventually dated. After we were done talking, I went home, immediately unadded my ex everywhere, and then told the girl about it, knowing she’d find out eventually.

I don’t know what I was expecting, but she got mad at me. I got mad at her, and we had a pretty ugly argument. I said things I didn’t mean and that didn’t make sense. She kept saying things about her being a rebound. I wanted to tell her that if I wanted a rebound, I wouldn’t be waiting on her and wanting something serious. Instead, I said, “If I wanted a rebound, it wouldn’t be you,” which was a terrible thing to say.

We decided to take some space from each other for about a week. I thought that since the heat had cleared, I could talk to her normally, but when I tried, it wasn’t normal. I asked her what was wrong, and another ugly argument erupted. She claimed I once called her by my ex’s name, which was complete news to me. The girl has schizophrenia, specifically the auditory hallucination type. I thought maybe her mind was playing tricks on her, and when I mentioned her diagnosis, she took it as a huge insult and accused me of gaslighting her. I tried to explain myself, but the damage was already done. She also has borderline personality disorder, and in her words, she sees the world in black and white. She said she would always remember what I said, no matter what I did.

For some reason, she decided to stay friends with me because she thought I’d tell the world her secrets, which are pretty life-ruining, so I can’t even blame her. However, I was constantly apologizing and nagging her about everything. Eventually, I noticed she followed her ex on Instagram, and I exploded on her. Right after, I felt like a hypocrite, which led to us agreeing to stop talking. Two weeks later, I was feeling like complete shit about it and missed her. Then I got the news from her friend, who happens to be my best friend, that the girl now hates my guts. I was appalled since I thought we ended things on okay terms. So, I texted her, and she went ballistic on me, accusing me of being a complete asshole, lying to her constantly, being manipulative, and gaslighting her. This was unexpected since I thought she understood that the things I said were misworded, and I apologized profusely after each one. Wondering if I was really like that, I asked her exactly what I did to make her hate me so much. She only named the things I mentioned earlier—nothing else.

Things completely ended between us. Later, my best friend told me the girl was head over heels for her ex again and believed it wasn’t over between them, implying she was ready to be his girlfriend whenever. That got me thinking: what if she was just looking for any excuse to leave the thing we had behind? What if everything she said to me about being a rebound and me not feeling anything for her was her projecting her feelings about me? She was always scared of me talking to my ex again and being head over heels for her, forgetting what I had with this girl. Yet she’s doing exactly that with her ex.

She was always replying late, never flirted back, and every time I needed emotional support, she brushed it off, saying I wasn’t over my ex. So, the conclusion I reached was that she’s a massive hypocrite. Sorry for the long read, but I needed a new opinion to make sure I’m not crazy. Am I?