I have 5 kids. All grown. ALL gave me bunches of problems/heartache as teens. One son(now 25)(4th child)was even younger when he started having extreme outburst of anger when he didnt get his way. Three have been diagnosed with mental health issues (anxiety, depression, personality disorders, conduct disorders, etc). I did my very best to raise them well but it was hard after their father left. They were 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. He had an affair with one of his students (he was a college professor) who was 14 years younger than himself, left us and moved to another state. I never remarried, just worked and tried to take care of them. I felt like I did everything I could for each child, however they were jealous of each other, angry, and as I said, some were diagnosed with mental health issues. Through their childhood our relationships were up and down but they always counted on me for help. Fast forward to them grown. One son (who has never been diagnosed with any mental health issues and was actually the best behaved throughout childhood) now ignores me and treats me Unkindly, citing that I didn't do enough for him as a child or adult. He treats me like an afterthought or ignores me. He started saying these things like this when he got together with his current wife. He had had a girlfriend before her that we all really liked who encouraged him to treat me kindly Because her own mother was dead. So she was always telling him to treat me kindly but this one is not like that. Let me give an example of some things they do: at Christmas 2023, He was scheduled to go to his father's house in Louisiana. His father had bought his whole family plane tickets to fly there. When they got there, his father had a trip or something he had to go on, So they decided to drive to Texas to See her (his wife's ) Family. So they invited me to come up to see her at her family's house, which was an hour away from my house. So I drove up there brought gifts for his children. But I'd already sent gifts to their house too. When I got there we spent about an hour there and all of a sudden. Her family invited her to a Christmas party. So they all decided they were gonna go to a Christmas party and asked me to leave. They also gave me gifts from the dollar store. But then they went and spent a week at his father's house? Things like that have been happening over the years, where they just aren't very kind to me. And I think it stems from me not having good relationship with his wife because well she's just judgmental. I always feel never good enough for her. She had sent me texts in the past from my son's phone. Telling me that my kids were bad. They they were drug addicts that I did a lot more for them And I never did anything for her husband which was obviously the best child in the family ...stuff like that. And I don't do things for him as an adult. He doesnt need it and never asks. He states that since he's the best child. I should be giving more to them and less to my other children. I don't contact them all the time but rather I wait for them to contact me. That is the way my and my parents did it. I contacted my parents and brought my children to see them. My parents didn't constantly call me or come to my house. So I guess I'm just doing it the way my mom and dad did. But also his wife has been unkind to me in the past and is extremely judgmental. Talking about me behind my back and saying mean things about me to her family in another language at my house in front of my face so I feel uncomfortable with them... so I wait for them to contact me. But now they've unfriended me on Facebook and won't talk to me. And I feel like they compare how much I do for them with how much my son's father does, which is a lot more. He has a lot more money than me. He contacts them all the time. This is son no. 3. He is 27, married with 2 children. They ignore my texts and never reach out. If we make contact it's because i've reached out. Now son 4.... Son no 4 has always had mental health problems since he was a child. He's been diagnosed with ODD, oppositional defiant disorder, Intermittent outburst syndrome, personality disorders, etc. He had tons of problems as a child in school, saw many counselors was on medications. At 1 point he would not go to school. So I sent him to live with his father . Now Mind you when he lived with his father, his father had custody of him just like I had custody of the in the other 4 kids so he would visit me when the other kids went to visit their father. He would come and visit me for a 11 weeks at a time in the summer. It's not like I never saw him again. It was just the opposite of what the other children did. But I visited him every time the other kids went to visit their father we just switched. This went on from the end of 4th grade to some time in 8th grade . At 1 point his father couldn't handle his behavior in eighth grade. And he sent him to several juvenile detention centers and mental health facilities. And finally put my son....in the care of the state Louisiana and told me that if I didn't come and get him. He was going to be given to the state of Louisiana as a ward and wouldn't be our child anymore. So of course, i went and got him. He was in eighth grade and I let him live with me. And after that, he continued the behaviors, hurting people, breaking everything, I mean Everything everything in my house. he went to counselors. He was on medication. He had a juvenile detention officer. He had a Big Brother. I mean, I had him on a 504 plan at school. I did everything I could to help him every thing! He got a girl pregnant when he was 16. He got another one pregnant when he was 18. So I have 2 grandchildren out of those 2 relationships. I of course, help them with the children each time, baby sat, etc. At least for the second one a lot. He lived in my house with one of the girls and the baby for a year, paid No rent paid no bills. I bought them food. There were times when both of them did not have jobs and just sat around in my house and fought broke every single solitary door that I had in the hallway. Finally, I asked them to move out. And they seemed to be doing good. But he was abusive to the girl and she finally broke it off with him and kicked him out so he came back and lived with me for another year. The whole time I paid for the daycare for the child. I picked the child up from school and brought him home. My son would sleep while I watched the child. I allowed him live with me Scott free so that he could save money and move out faster. most of the time was good. He seemed to have learned some lessons. We had a good relationship after he moved out too. But there were a few instances where he got overwhelmed and upset and broke things in my house. But we still try to maintain a decent relationship. He told me that he appreciated me. He thanked me a lot. He would buy me little gifts. He would work on things at my house. So I felt like he was kinda giving back. You know for the things that I gave him. Fast forward JAN 2025. He went to visit his father and my other son, My third son was there with his wife and children. he took his kids. They all visited. I guess they had a good time well. Great. A couple weeks later, he went down to my son number three's house for a birthday party. And after that he got in a big fight with me. Him and his girlfriend unfriended me on Facebook. And now all four of them won't talk to me???? I had a problem with a car and I owed him (son 3) some money that I told pay for the a car. However, I helped him buy the car in the first place. Asked him to pay me back for it and he never paid me back. So in reality I didn't actually owe him any money. But I had told him that I would pay him the money, 800 dollars. I paid 200 but got in a financial bind and couldn't do it right away, But I never said I wasn't going to give him the money. But I was in a kind of bind so I asked him if he could pay his own phone bill. Which he had told me he would do when I put him on my phone contract. Three years of the contract with the phone equals eighteen hundred dollars, which he told me he would pay but he never did. He got super angry with me started Cussing me out on the phone and talking about how I abandoned him as a child. And let him get beat daily. Which not sure what is referring to on that. Now my feelings are hurt. I feel like I've done a lot for him. And then these people are just throwing me in the trash like everything I did for them. Didn't matter. He's got his girlfriend turned against me. I asked him why she wouldn't talk to me, he said. Well, you know she doesn't really like you. And I said why? I didn't do anything to her. And he said well all the stuff you did to me? WT HECK? Oh, by the way, she's 20 and she's pregnant too. He got his last girlfriend pregnant as well. But she lost the baby. So I'm only gonna have 3 grandchildren from him. He's 25 years old. I have asked him if he may be should get a vasectomy, cause this is ridiculous! None of them were with the same person.... And he's married none of them. My oldest son says I should just forget about it. That son number 4 is mentally ill and son number 3 is just a jerk and I should not care about it. But I wanna have a relationship with my grandchildren. My mom says I shouldn't care about having a relationship with my grandchildren. Because they'll just turn out to be jerks like their parents because their parents are raising them. I'm not sure what I have done to hurt these people or make them dislike me. Or what I should do to fix the problem if anything. He messaged His ex-girlfriend and told me that I shouldn't get to see their son. Because I am irresponsible and dangerous. I'm a pre school teacher!! I'm not dangerous or irresponsible with children! I Don't know where all this hate is coming from. Or why they both suddenly hate me. But they love their dad who left them when they were little kids to go have a relationship and a family was somebody else? I'm not sure what I should do if anything. But my feelings are hurt and I miss my grandchildren. Advice?