When my son was born early, my husband’s entire family—his mom, dad, sister, and grandmother—landed on the same day. It was chaos. I had just delivered, I was bleeding, sore, and my newborn was cluster feeding. The only comfortable place to feed him was the living room couch, so I basically lived out of there in a bathrobe and adult diapers, with people constantly around me. It was embarrassing, but I had no choice—they had flown in from another country. I had to keep feeding my baby no matter who was around. I just did what I had to do and went with the flow.

But things came to a head one day when my MIL was changing my 6-day-old baby’s diaper on the floor. The changing station was upstairs in our bedroom, and he hated it there, so we all avoided that. But he was screaming his lungs out while being changed, my MIL was sweet-talking him, my SIL had her hand on his chest, and then—my FIL decided to start playing the guitar.

I lost it. I said sharply, “Please stop, this is too much stimulation,” asked my SIL to move her hand, and told my MIL, “Just give him to me, I need to feed him.” My baby was also jaundiced (high bilirubin levels), and I was already extremely stressed.

Later that night, my MIL confronted me, saying what I said might have made my FIL feel bad. I was shocked. I was the one bleeding and in pain, my baby was crying, and she was worried about her husband’s feelings over my tone? I still handled it calmly and even apologized, but it really pissed me off. I somehow made it upstairs that night, and thankfully my feeding chair arrived the next day—so I stayed in my room for the next month.

Eventually, I talked it out with my MIL, but I didn’t really buy her reasoning. She said she just wanted to “get ahead of any bad feelings” from my FIL’s side. Fine. We moved on. Her husband, daughter, and mother eventually left, but she stayed.

Now we’re three months out. I’m finally feeling a little better, but I’m still feeding my baby 12–13 times a day. My FIL now wants to come and stay again—this time for 1.5 months. I just couldn’t do it. It’s terrible for my mental health to be confined to my room, and when he’s around, he’s very needy and attention-seeking but basically ignores me.

I told my husband to suggest a compromise: he can come for one week, go back, and then return for another week after a break. That’s the best I can handle, and surprisingly, my FIL agreed.

But living with my MIL continues to be really hard. She’s randomly critical about the way I handle my baby, and I’m scared to speak up because of how she reacted that first time. On top of that, I’m estranged from my own family, and she knows that. My husband has asked her to be sensitive about it—but honestly, she’s gone the opposite direction.

She is also on video calls with extended family 24*7 and stuffs the camera in my baby’s face randomly and I don’t like it but I definitely don’t like being on display to god knows who when I am still struggling.

Now they’re planning a big ceremony for my baby’s first solids, and I just want to cancel everything. I’m tired, overwhelmed, and still trying to find my footing.

TL;DR: My husband’s entire family flew in the day my baby was born, and I had no privacy while recovering and breastfeeding. MIL confronted me for asking them to tone things down during an overstimulating moment with my newborn. I ended up isolating myself for a month. FIL now wants to visit for 1.5 months, but I pushed back for my mental health. MIL is still critical and insensitive, despite knowing I’m estranged from my own family. Now there’s a ceremony planned for baby’s first solids, and I’m thinking of canceling it. Would I be the AH?

Would I be the AH if I just told everyone not to come?