So I (F) was seeing a guy a while ago, and for his birthday, I paid for a hotel for the night as a gift. During that night, I realized he wasn’t over his ex — emotionally he was somewhere else.

I was upset. I felt like I had been misled. After that night, I asked if he could at least pay for half of the hotel cost (£182 total, so £91 from him). He refused, saying it was a birthday gift and I was being petty and bitter.

Months passed, he blocked me, and then he reached out again. I assumed he had finally moved on and was ready for a real relationship, but nope — same emotional unavailability, same neglect.

Again, I asked him to pay me back for the hotel night, since I now saw it not as a gift but a waste of emotional and financial energy. Still refused. So I sent him a formal message stating I intended to file a small money claim if he didn’t pay.

His response? He filed a harassment report. Next thing I know, the police show up at my door. I was taken in for questioning and spent 16 hours in custody — for harassment.

I get that technically I gave him the hotel night as a birthday present. But do I not have the right to ask for it back if I feel like he totally misrepresented his emotional availability?

amItheasshole