I (22F) am looking at places to move in with my long distance boyfriend of two years (26M). He is the most wonderful person I have ever met, and for the first time in my life this relationship feels very secure for me. He is kind, works hard, has never once raised his voice at me, and is my best friend.

Here’s where the nerves come in. I own a 2 year old cat, and she is an angel. She loves everyone, cuddles, plays fetch, and has never bit or scratched anyone in her entire life. She’s super sweet and social, loves making new friends, and has only ever lived with other sweet easygoing pets. Meanwhile, he also has a cat. To put it frankly…. his cat is an a**hole. I love animals and (almost all) animals have loved me all my life. His cat is the exception. Since the moment I walked in his house for the first time, his cat has hated me. In fact his cat hates almost all women (we think it may be something to do with an ex girlfriend). I’ve been attacked and stalked through the house by this cat and it has given me so much anxiety about an aggressive animal for the first time in my life.

The cat has attacked family and roommates friends that have visited him as well as bullying some of his roommates cats. I’ve become anxious enough that I don’t feel comfortable going to visit him, and it’s holding me back with my excitement to move in with him. He says he’s talked to a behavioral specialist before but that nothing changed. He wants to “just go for it” but I don’t know how to move forward. I’m really worried about my safety and the safety of my cat (not to mention worried about her no longer feeling safe at home and her behavior changing)

Does anyone have advice on what to do here?