I have just started a new relationship. We’ve been together for three months and everything was doing great. We’ve been seeing each other almost every day, she knows my family already and we’ve been sharing some pretty intimate stuff. This relationship has been emotional since the beginning, it’s like she unlocked something inside me and I can be vulnerable without fear of judgment. I feel very loved and appreciated and since it’s my first lesbian relationship, I finally feel connected to myself and my own truth.

The thing is, we don’t share the same religious beliefs. I’m an agnostic with Buddhist tendencies and she is a spiritist, and I was honestly OK with that when we first started seeing each other but now for some reason that’s all I can think about. She often says she has to come back to practicing her religion since she’s been kind of away from it because and, if she doesn’t, she’s gonna start having bad dreams and her energy is gonna be low and etc. Every time she mentions going back to it I feel really weird. It’s a real physical feeling in my stomach.

I’ve been feeling like this since she told me something about her past relationship. It was a really toxic one and she was always on edge, crying and fighting and I don’t think the same thing would happen with us, but I still can’t stop thinking about it. When she started dating her ex, the ex‘s mother had just passed away, like, six months prior to the beginning of their relationship. One day, they were at the coffee table at her house and she (my current gf) started crying and screaming, feeling really anxious. Then, she claims the ex‘s mother started talking through her, and she said a bunch of stuff to her ex, who naturally got frightened and left. She says it wasn’t her fault and that she had no control over it. The girl’s mother died on a tragic event and it was very recent, so every time I stop to think about it it really gives me the ick. Firstly because I don’t believe her and her powers, and secondly because if I was her ex, I would definitely break up right there and then.

She also says she hates going to funerals or cemeteries because the dead often speak to her. Last month, one of our old neighbors died and a few days before his death she told me she was not feeling well and that she felt it had to do with energy. When the man died she told me she couldn’t have said it to me a week before, but she knew he was going to die and that she had to go to the funeral because he was actually wandering around her house with very confused feelings and she had to guide him onto the other side. 🙄

I could say I wanna believe her, but that would be a lie because I am not at all interested in any of this. If she hadn’t told me anything about the situation with her ex, I wouldn’t be overthinking this whole situation. Her thinking she can talk to her dead neighbor kind of worries me a little, but I can deal with it. What I can’t deal with is the fact that I can’t stop thinking about what her ex might’ve felt in that bizarre situation.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for in here, if it’s advice or if I just want confirmation that this whole thing is insane, but we have a really good communication style and I’m considering bringing this up with her. The thing is, it’s been a while since she told me what happened with her ex and I don’t know how to bring it up out of the blue because she has no idea these things have been going through my head. Some days I’m scared I’m gonna hurt her feelings because I can’t bring myself to respect her religious beliefs, but recently I just need to get it off my chest and tell her that if something like that happened to me that would be a complete dealbreaker.

It all just sucks. It’s all good, then I remember this story and then there’s a pit in my chest.