I am a therapist friend. It somehow always ends up being the case, regardless of how well I know someone they quickly start venting and telling me about their issues. It's not something I usually mind, because I'm not one to talk about myself much anyway, and I enjoy being there for others.

The thing is, it's the only reason my friends seem to talk to me, even close friends, people I've known for 10+ years, rarely ever contact me to just hang out anymore. When they start conversations first it's always to ask if I can do something for them, or to talk about something bothering them.

Since I value communication, I actually told some of them that I felt that way, to which they almost all replied with something along the lines of "oh, I absolutely don't take you for granted or for a therapist, you are a valued friend".

So they stopped coming to me with their issues. In fact, they stopped coming to me at all. I tried not talking to them for a while (we're talking months) to see if they would actually contact me first. None of them did.

I tried to rationalize this : maybe I should make my feelings clearer to them, maybe I should try harder, or maybe they're busy you know ? Unfortunately, seeing them hang out with other friends and being active on social media gives the opposite impression. Then I thought that I could just be unlikeable to them, but then again, would you vent to, and ask advices from someone you can't stand ?

Now I'm at a point where I don't plan on ever talking to them again, even if they somehow remember and contact me, I don't want to answer. Maybe it's not the right thing to do, but honestly I'm tired of seeing my hopes being crushed by my friends never meeting the basic standards of friendship in my eyes.

I should mention I suffer from BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) which can alter my views and perception of relationships in drastic ways. Which is why I want some unbiased opinions about this, because I know my feelings are unreliable. I don't want blind validation, if you need more context I'll give it, I just want to know if I'm doing something wrong, or if I'm making too big of a deal out of this.

Am I the asshole for cutting off my friends ?