My husband and I have always wanted children and we struggled for a long time to have them. When we got pregnant everyone seemed happy enough for us. But when baby came it was tough. We didn't have any support system the first 2 months of her life and the only thing that kept us sane was that, while not ideal, we could bring her round to our friends for a casual game that we used to really enjoy before we had her. While we weren't able to get a break from her, she slept the whole time in her carrier and we were able to relieve a bit of stress. As far as I can remember we always asked if it was ok if we bring her After 2 or 3 weeks she started to wake up and it wasn't really feasible any more so we stopped hanging out until we could find a babysitter. We were a little hurt when we asked if we could bring her to our friends birthday party for 15-20 minutes around lunch just so we could say hi to everyone and wish him a happy birthday and we were told no. We probably didn't handle that with as much grace as we were expected to. We were then uninvited from our group vacation unless we could find a weekend babysitter for our 5 month old when they know we don't have any family to help (they claim they didn't know how bad it was despite us telling them every time we tried to plan something in the first 2 months, that we don't have any family to help watch her). My husband was more upset than I was overall. I generally tried to mediate and help him understand that they didn't sign up for a baby, we did. And that we have to respect when they want their adult time. I only struggled when we were told that they'd rather not see us at all (not even 15-30 minutes) if we couldn't find a sitter. Overall in the first 2 months we were trying to learn what was and wasn't acceptable and in truth we probably did make some assumptions that our friends would want to see us enough to put up with a sleeping baby on an occasional casual hangout. Not for major events or an organized game night. Just an occasional hang out for the first month or 2 while we got our bearings. Long story short. An hour long conference call today (3 months after all the aforementioned wrongdoings had occurred and we had stopped bring her around) we were told that they resented all the concessions they had made in that first month and that we were being unfair by expecting them to always put up with a baby. we apologized and admitted that we were worried we'd put too much burden on them hence why we had stopped coming to events unless we could get a babysitter. But when we said that we were just disappointed that no one WANTED to see us enough to tolerate a few hours around our daughter on occasion. We were told that we missed the point. I accept that we didn't realize how much of a burden she was to them that first month and I accept that we apparently didn't communicate the right way (apparently we just showed up with a baby without telling anyone. I genuinely didn't realize we had done this. I thought we had given everyone at least a bare minimum of 24 hours notice and ASKED before hand not just shown up. But if they say we didn't then we must not have. I had a very traumatic birth and suffered with a bit of PTSD that first month so it's all a bit of a blur sometimes) and we did apologize for how we handing that first month. I guess where I think I'm the asshole is that I still feel kind of hurt that they resent having to spend ANY time around her if they want to see us. We've never even asked a single one of them to do much as hold her. And if she cries we leave the room, the house, or more often than not the event. Am I wrong for feeling hurt? That we weren't worth a month of inconvenience? After the entire day of being made to feel like assholes and bad parent for even considering bringing her, we apologized again and said that, at least at this moment we aren't in th best headspace to handle this with grace so we would take some space to process (baby had been screaming and we were running on about 4 hours of sleep each) that we didn't want there to be hard feeling but that we were overwhelmed with a lot of information that had been presented very quickly about how everyone had been feeling about us for apparently a very long time and we just needed some time to gather our selves and come back to this when we had had some more sleep and we didn't feel like we were drowning. We were told that they had wasted enough of their day spending an hour on the phone to "talk this out" and "good luck to y'all" and that was the end of it. Neither me or my husband have slept much since. Am I the asshole?