my husband (33M) and me (30F) have two young kids and it is busy and exhausting. before kids we had a great sex life and even since kids it’s been good, we have lots of fun it’s definitely not as often.. normal.

on our honeymoon pre kids we downloaded tinder and had a threesome with another girl. overall i was really comfortable with it, in fact i was pushing for it as much as he was. and all in all it was mostly her and i and him and i and not really much of them with each other - no regrets.

fast forward two kids later and our sex life has slowed down. we try to spice things up, we went to the strip club for the first time together and had so much fun, and we even ended up going to a sex club and having an amazing time just with each other, but the environment was so freeing and exciting.

i think all of these things are good? my issue is that now my husband is constantly bothering me about having another threesome to spice things up. he says our life is boring and our days are always the same. he is turned on by the idea of me being with another girl. we talk about it during sex and it sounds exciting but it’s just not something i’m interested in. especially, the idea of inviting somebody over to our home makes me extremely uncomfortable. my husband is telling me that i am a disappointment, that i’ve changed, that i am a “let down” for not willing to try this again for him. i had a great time the first time, im just not up for it now.

i feel like i already know the answer but am i the asshole for not wanting to have a threesome even if we already have had one? and for not wanting to have a threesome in our house where we’re raising our kids, which is not the same as going to a sex club out of town?