I (20f) and my boyfriend (23m) have been dating for two years and living together for a little over a year (we didn’t really have much of a choice regarding when we moved in together I know it was fast) we for the most part had no issues and when we did we talked them out very quickly and easily. However, we recently moved across the country to his home town and 20 hours away from mine. We both work a standard 8 hour day usually but rn is my industries busy season so I’ve been working longer hours. I’ve also been going through a bit of a depression being so far away from any one I know and not having any friends here. I feel like I’ve kind of lost myself. I tried to talk to my bf about this but I don’t really think he understands. Today, after a 12 hour shift that I woke up at 4am for, I came home to him asking me to do the laundry and the dishes while he relaxed I agreed and did them. Then he asked me to make dinner I did that too. As I made his plate I tried to open up to him. I said “ I feel disconnected from you. And he said “ yeah it sucks.” And went back to watching reels on his phone. I gave him his plate and walked away. He realized I was upset and asked if I was ok I said no and he asked why. I told him and he said “ I shut down when I’m stressed. It’s because of my parents you know this” and went back to his reels. I walked away and started a bath for myself. He came in the bathroom and asked what I was doing I told him and he asked why. I said “ because I’m upset and it helps me” he again asked why and I told him I felt like he dismissed my feelings and he again said “I shut down emotionally I can’t help it.” I didn’t know what to say so I didn’t respond and he said he was going to lay down and to join him if I wanted.

Am I the asshole for being upset about this? Am I being pushy and needy? My thought is maybe the longer hours are the issue? Idk.