Honestly I’ve been going through a lot of shit recently. There’s this group chat of people I met online (on overwatch) and I decided to make a GC for us, over time more people joined and left and whatnot. But, recently, I’ve been basically harassed by most of the group chat. One person in it, the only other female besides me, has just been the nicest person to me in years. I love her body, her voice, her personality and I’ve fallen in love with her, and she knows it, but that’s where the harassment came from. I always say nice things about her and I love being on call with her. (Let’s call her “M”) the only issue is I’m not her type. (She’s into strong dominant men, and I’m an emotional weak female) So when another member of the GC got a girlfriend, I guess it made me jealous with all the times he talks about her and everything she’s done for him. So I’ve kinda lashed out at him multiple times when he talks about her. (Let’s call him “O” and his gf “F”) So I always compliment my crush, and she is chill with it, but one time, I guess it was the breaking point for my gc. I say “ @M : You’re Cute <3 “ and the whole gc but M came at me saying “She doesn’t like you” “She’s not into you” Stuff like that, and multiple times from each person, except for M, she never yelled at me, she didn’t mind, never harassed me. So I also went to my other friend not in gc to vent, and they helped me feel better and calm down, and then I so after a bunch of the gc harassing me, I DM M and say “sorry for bothering you and being clingy” and so on. And she was chill with me complimenting her and never told me to stop, so I’m here thinking, why did the gc come at me when it’s not their place when I said nothing to them and I wasn’t hurting them in anyway, M would have told me to stop if she wanted me to, but she didn’t. From then on Tension was tight. I decided so the GC would stop harassing me I’d get a boyfriend so they’d leave me alone, but that was cruel to him, because I never loved him and I only used him to get the gc off my back. He was gonna take me on a date, after about a month of us dating, but I “got cold feet” and cancelled. I felt sick mentally and physically anytime he wanted to do something with me because I knew it’s not right. I ended up breaking up with him on valentines and told him that “I’m not in the right headspace to date” because I didn’t want to hurt him and tell him the truth. He told someone in the gc that I “‘got cold feet’ and broke up with him” so the gc harassed me for that.
Honestly all of this was just making my mental health worse, so things have been said, and So I got an ultimatum about my attitude from my best friend of seven years. (Let’s call him “D”) D told me that I need to do some apologizing so I did to “O” because he was the only person that really need an apology and after that D still says I need to apologize, (I did apologize in a long paragraph but he hasn’t responded so I dunno if he accepts it) but to whom!? I’ve not wronged him. I apologized to who I need to. So I’ve broken off my friendship with him, because I’m the one who deserves an apology. I get harassed and I’m emotional and the group made my mental health go to shit, if anything, he owes me an apology for how he’s spoken to me and treated me.

Honestly, right now I’m looking for advice.. on how to go about this.. I haven’t been in that group chat in weeks and I think it’s for the better, they haven’t been good for my mental health for months. But now that I had this fallout, I just feel so guilt ridden and so upset at that gc. I still talk to like 3 of the gc every now and then, but I haven’t really talked to any of them in a while, and now I’m avoiding my ex best friend of 7 years and it makes me sad to think I’ve lost my best friend. He was the closest person to me until this drama started. Now I feel I have no best friend, because the people I talk with in person, are more so to keep my social meter up, because I’m worried I’ll hurt or lose more people. What should I do?