My ex and I were together for five years and have a 1 year old babygirl. We mainly broke up because he cheated on me the last couple months of pregnancy and continued too after baby was born. Up until I found out which was when the baby was two months old. Also at this time we had recently moved into my parents guest house since we were saving up to buy a house

I didn’t really suspect anything and only found out because one night when I got up to feed the baby I used his phone to stay awake since I didn’t charge mine. I didn’t even think about going through his messages either I was just scrolling on his tik tok, but this one girl who is my brothers sister in law kept messaging him so I got curious and opened the messages and that’s when I found out that he had been cheating on me with her. The messages had gone back months before the baby was born. He was talking bad about me and my family to the girl. Saying a bunch of stuff that I’m always mean to him and that I don’t help him out when the baby is fussy and he has her. ( I want to make note that he never would help me at night with the baby and hardly ever during the day only if I asked him.)

The next morning I told him I knew about her and told him I needed some space so I had left for the day and when I got back Home later in the night he was gone. He packed some of his stuff and left. He later called me to talk and we eventually did and broke up. He had told me he was in a bad place mentally and everything that had happened with her was because she was there for him when he needed someone and I wasn’t. I also want to note that my pregnancy was hard and I had several complications also during labor and I was struggling with postpartum depression. So I do admit I wasn’t there for him emotionally or physically. I feel like he never understood that though.

Fast forward a couple months and he is still with the same girl and claim to be in a relationship. But since I know her I don’t feel comfortable with her being around my babygirl. So I told him that I don’t want her around my baby and I’m not comfortable with his girlfriend being around my baby, and she’s is someone I can no longer trust. He got mad saying it’s just “me being jealous and trying to control who is in his life and that i don’t want him to be happy.” Which is definitely not the case. He has texted me several times saying he’s still not doing good and isn’t happy and that life has been kicking him in the ass. It’s been a little over 10 months since we broke up. Since then I have grown to love myself and have been doing so much better without him. I’ve been able to be happy again. I could really careless if he’s still with that girl or whoever but I just don’t feel comfortable with the fact that I thought this girl was someone who I can trust and that’s clearly not the case.

So am I the asshole for not wanting her around my child? When she broke the trust that I had and not only mine but my families as well.