so my boyfriend and i have been dating for a little over 9 months (we are part time long distance while i’m finishing school), and throughout our relationship i have come to learn that he has a porn addiction. he also has a pretty niche fetish that can really only be shown though art/animation, and that isn’t a problem. i understand having kinks and in general i don’t really have a problem with his use of porn. he has gotten a little better about it, but it is still an issue in our relationship and often causes little arguments. he even started talking to someone though the fetish community while we were dating. but i stayed with him because when we talked about it he was totally honest, and in the past when i’ve talked to him about things he’s made changes. recently i decided to look up my partner on devianart, which i know he uses to look at porn, and he was very easy to find because he uses the same username for everything. and if you don’t know how devianart works, a person can favorite anything they want, and it is public on their profile for everyone to see. i did the same for his bluesky because i also know he uses that for porn. now that i have access to his accounts, i can see how often he is favoriting porn and posting about it. i often find myself checking it to see when and how often he is looking at porn, and it has kind of become a little obsession, and the source of some anger. i can see that he is reposting commissions he requested that cost well over $50 when we are supposed to be saving for an apartment and now i know he subscribes to so many porn based accounts. i can also see that sometimes when we’re on the phone together he is looking at and saving porn or he’ll say he’s going to shower but then i see that there has been more porn added to his favorites. i even found that he was essentially running a porn account on bluesky while we were dating, and while he hasn’t posted since october, i still would have liked him to tell me about it. and in all honesty i don’t have a problem with him using porn or jerking off. it’s just how often and how much of it he is consuming that really bothers me. i just don’t know what to do. i really do love him and i want to find a way to make this work. i want to have a talk with him about this, but i almost feel like i’m beating a dead horse. i’ve talked to him before about how i feel about the way he consumes porn, and the only difference now is that i can actually see how often he is engaging with it. should i talk to him? if so, do i mention that i’ve basically been stalking his porn accounts? am i invading his privacy by doing this? any advice would be greatly appreciated.