I (31F) need your wisdom. I have been married to my husband for 4 years and in this relationship for almost 8. Aside from the one-offs, our relationship is great. My husband is understanding, charismatic, and doesn’t limit me at all.

I feel almost selfish saying this but the issue is that he takes his job way too seriously. He is unable to set boundaries and it’s “always something” that is causing him to work extended hours. I think I’m particularly peeved by it as he has been working until 7 PM and working once he gets home AND weekends for like the past 2 weeks. This will happen on and off consistently otherwise as well. It is not just a recent issue.

I am fine being alone, I have plenty to do and have my own friends and activities. When we are able to spend time together, he insists on talking about his work. It’s not that I do not care, I just do not want to listen about it 24/7 when we are together. He is also not particularly interested in my work. To be fair, he has the objectively “exciting” job, I am a lawyer (I know that’s cool too!).

I spoke with him last weekend and expressed he needed to set boundaries. In my mind a job is a way to get money to live my life, for him it is a passion. This isn’t the first time I’ve told him this but I told him I’m starting to check out a bit. I think it was harsh but if I do not say something, how could I ever expect it to get better?

For context, we do not heavily rely on his job. I make more even tho that does not matter. I never shame him for how much he makes. He really enjoys his work. I also have his location and know his co-workers and so not believe he is cheating.

How do I navigate this? Any tips? Am I being an asshole?