Hi Reddit. I (18F, 19 in August) have been struggling a lot with school and life, and things recently exploded between me and my parents. I need to know if I was out of line.

To give some context, I’ve had a rough few years.

In 2019, I OD’d. That led to a stay in a mental hospital and a diagnosis of autism — something neither I nor my family had known before.

Shortly after, we found out my grandfather was a not prey — he hit on me. Since he lived with us, I wasn’t allowed to stay at home anymore and moved in with my aunt. It was sudden and traumatic. Around that time, I started having stomach issues and was later diagnosed with ulcers. All of this happened while I was trying to start high school during the pararemic, and I couldn’t keep up.

Eventually, my grandparents moved out and I returned home, but things didn’t get better. In 2021, I got C19 twice and needed foot surgery. Then in 2022, I failed grade 10 — not a shock, given my ongoing health and executive function issues.

That same year, I had another breakdown and ended up hospitalized again. I got kicked out of school and didn’t even care at that point. It was a toxic place.

At some point, I returned to school, but the new one wasn’t much better. My teacher constantly gaslit me about being autistic. I tried, but still failed grade 11 in 2024.

My relationship with my mom is complicated. She tries to understand my autism, but often calls me dramatic when I express emotions. My dad… I honestly think he hates me.

In 2024, he didn’t want to enroll me in school again. He thought I wasn’t trying. But I was — just not always successfully. So I took the initiative, found an online school, and in 2025, things were going okay. Even my dad and I were getting along.

Then I missed a few classes. I got back on track quickly, but that same day he brought me McDonald’s — which seemed nice — and later told me he’d heard I skipped class. He threatened to pull me out of school. I panicked and told him if he did that, I’d rather not be alive — because where I live, you can’t get a job without a diploma, and school is my only hope right now.

He said he wouldn’t care if I died.

I snapped. I threw a drink at him. He threw one back. I locked myself in my room, and yeah… it was bad. Like, a whole day of sleep-bad.

Since then, I’ve been spiraling. My parents are retiring this year while I’m still in grade 11. I’m stressed about school, work, getting my license, and just surviving. My health is bad. My home life feels toxic. I’m trying, but I’m so tired.

Earlier this month, I had a happy little autism burst and tried to talk to my dad, thinking we were okay. He shut me down with, “Go away. I don’t want to talk to you.”

So I told my parents they make me want to die.

Not to manipulate. Not to be dramatic. But because it’s true. Their words and actions make me feel like a mistake. Now they’re calling me ungrateful and emotionally abusive.

So… AITA?