Hey Reddit,

For years, I’ve been dealing with my toxic aunt (my dad’s sister, let’s call her “Aunt G”). Every time she visited, she felt entitled to comment on my appearance, especially my weight. She can’t take criticism herself but loves to dish it out to others – always comparing me to her “perfect” son: fit, educated, works in a top company, basically walks on water in her eyes.

I’ll admit, my aunt isn’t exactly a beauty queen herself. To paint a picture for those outside of Poland: she strongly resembles an actress named Wanda Dembek, who played the role of Countess Gruffanuff in an old children’s TV series (“Pierścień i Róża” / “The Rose and the Ring”). Not the most charming character – but I’ve never even considered commenting on her looks.

My dad always brushed things off (“it’s family, just ignore her, you’re exaggerating…”), and my mom would say “what do you want me to do?... you just have to endure it.” Once, she even sided with my aunt, saying, “Well, maybe you could lose a bit of weight.” Only later did she admit she’d been through similar treatment from her mother-in-law.

The breaking point came after my cousin’s wedding, when Aunt G asked, “So, when will you be getting married and having kids? You know, time’s ticking…” The last straw was her visit to my workplace: more body-shaming, more marriage questions, and even debating my life choices with a coworker of mine (!).

After that, I had a serious talk with my mom and told her I’d really had enough – the next visit might end in a real scene. My mom took it seriously, spoke to my dad, and then to my aunt, telling her that her visits made me uncomfortable. Of course, Aunt G acted completely surprised (“I was only being nice… I brought you sweets because you like them so much!”), but a few days after my birthday, she still wanted to meet up and give me a present.

That’s when I sent her a text:

“Thank you, but I no longer want these visits. They make me uncomfortable. Your sister-in-law told you this at Easter, but you seem to have forgotten. After each visit, I feel mentally and physically exhausted. My mental comfort is important to me now. You have a granddaughter – focus on her. I have my own life.”

My dad wasn’t thrilled about my decision, but my mom said I did the right thing and fully supports me. My aunt still tries to stir up drama through my parents from time to time, but I’ve stopped letting it get to me.

So Reddit, AITA for telling my toxic aunt to stop visiting, even if it upset my father and made things awkward in the family?

TL;DR: After years of digs and comparisons, I asked my aunt to stop visiting me. My mom’s on my side, my dad’s not. Am I really the asshole here?

Motto: Family or not – stay away from toxic people.