Someone was having a birthday night out the same night as I'd pencilled in to meet a friend. As this was only pencilled in, I asked to rearrange then felt guilty that I'd blown her out and apologised to which she responded accusing me overthinking and telling me off because I wanted to ensure I bought lots of drinks and a meal for a belated birthday gift as she'd apparently changed her mind about things of "monetary value.". She didn't even mind that I'd wanted to reschedule!

I didn't really like her tone because not so very long back she'd showed proudly showed off a personalised mirror I'd got her while three of us were out, and then she bought me a personalised bottle opener. Talk about not knowing the rules had changed until you break them!

I couldn't have that discussion at that moment as I was looking for my passport which I'd misplaced and coming across a lot of items from the past in the process, which always gets me sad and sentimental about the past, and given that the following day I was also due to attend the funeral of my childhood neighbour's sister whose children I used to play with when I was a child, it really wouldn't have been wise to continue the conversation, so I was honest and said I'd be in touch when I was less angry, but I didn't explain about losing my passport and the funeral, which got to her even more, so she said she'd put it down to miscommunication, that it was best we didn't talk any more but she bore me no malice and I shouldn't avoid her if we were both out.

The birthday night got cancelled!

Since then, I've sent this friend the odd 'how are you?' and she's asked me how I am back but I could sense she found it difficult to engage fully as she did previously.

I sent a Christmas card to her parents' home including a handwritten apology and invitation to my birthday stressing that if she couldn't make it, I'd love to meet for a catch-up instead. I never got a reply.

AITAH?