It’s a long one so if you get to the end thanks be to you! I want to know if basically ITA?

I(32F) live in a rural area. Proper old country. We have one kids school and one playground. This one playground for the last few months has been DOMINATED by a child(9m) and his mother. In every way. He’s there more or less all day every day(which I get,as she says he is autistic) but literally no other kids can use the playground when he’s there. He’s a very large child(as in tall and quite frankly morbidly obese),and extremely aggressive. He plays fine on his own there. As soon as other kids enter he’s a nightmare. He screams and swears constantly, tackles kids to the floor, kicks, punches, spits and bites. His mother doesn’t want to know. She sits on her phone ignoring it. I took my kid(7f) and her friends(all7f) to the playground as the weather was hot. He was there. The playground was full with every bench and picnic spot taken except one 8 seater bench. I headed for it to find a large black coat draped over the whole thing. His mum instantly(first time she’s ever spoken to me) says “oh you can’t sit there hun!”. I asked why. She said “my son is autistic and that’s his bench. No matter the weather he has to hang his coat on that bench or he will have a meltdown”. I told her that was ridiculous, rude and selfish and I wasn’t gonna sit me and my kids in the dirt so her son could drape a coat on an 8 seater picnic bench. She told me I was ignorant to hidden disabilities. Now this wound me right up as I have many OBVIOUS ones myself. I told her either she could move the coat or I would. She said “fine but don’t be surprised when he runs at you”. I told her if he did that she would have bigger issues than a coat. She moved the coat. No reaction from son whatsoever. None. Didn’t care even watched her move it. The family next to me said they had been having issues with him since he arrived and she had refused to let several people sit there and they left.

He started playing with my kid and her friends and I obviously have zero issue with this as it seemed to be going well. Until it didn’t. He spat in my daughters eye out of nowhere making her cry and bit her friend on the cheek. His mother watched and ignored so I grabbed my kids and said “buddy, don’t do that it’s mean!”. He burst into tears and ran to his mum. She ignored him…a few minutes later when my kids played in a different part of the playground with some other kids from their school he ran at them unprovoked and rugby tackled one to the floor who took my kid down with her. They both bashed their head on the floor and he then stood over them spitting and barking like a dog. I couldn’t even believe it. Not even a flinch from his mum. After grabbing our kids again he followed us over to the bench continuing to bark and growl like a dog. I had enough at that point and said “if you can’t be nice maybe you should go sit with your mum”. Again tears and went running over to her. Then we get to the final straw. My kid and others are on a communal web net swing. He goes over and instead of getting on tips the whole thing over backwards so all 4 end up on the floor. One little boy hit his head so hard he just lay there winded and his dad had to take him and leave.I approached his mum and asked what the hell she was playing at ignoring this crap to which she looked up from her phone and shouted “I told you hes autistic!”….I told her I heard her the first time and honestly I didn’t give a crap. I have a brother whose severely autistic but my parents never allowed him to harm other kids or misbehave in that way! She said “I’m not gonna say it again, he’s autistic and he can’t help it!” I said “well you can help it, you could get off your phone and stop him hurting other kids or try and teach him not to do those things instead of letting him behave like an animal!”

She got up and said we were all bullies and just didn’t want our kids playing with an autistic kid…couldn’t be further from the truth my kids tried to play with him nicely several times as did many others before getting injured! She said she now can’t bring her son to the park because of us…I mean, my take is she could bring her kid to the park if he a)learned to share the space and b)was prevented from badly injuring other kids! So…I guess are WE the AHs is the question???