My gf and I have been together for years now, we know each other inside out. We’ve lived together for a far portion of this time as well so getting on each others nerves is nothing knew. For a time being I had to take FLMA from work because I have severe medical issues from something that has no cure. With this being said I have been stressed out of my mind. She’s completely aware of these medical issues but recently for the last 4 months to be exact I’ve had to ask her to do basic things around the house, put in more effort and help a bit more since the first half of the relationship she lived with me and I wasn’t medically sick, every time I have asked beyond nicely she will (and I put this lightly) freak out like a child, say her BPD is making her go crazy or flat out say “it’s because I have autism” and completely deflect from being an actual adult. Am I the asshole for wanting to ask “is that true?” because she’s not medically diagnosed with autism and honestly I’ve never seen her paperwork for a bpd diagnosis.. I say this because this is the first time she’s been expressing to me she has autism and this has been a reoccurring phrase since a new coworker started at her workplace. I understand it is wrong to not ask someone something so rude but on the flip side.. I’m diagnose with a plethora of medical illnesses and constantly in and out of the hospital weekly but I rarely if ever blame it on my medical conditions. It’s getting to the point where it’s severely effecting our relationship and causing fights daily