I may be the asshole here but we will see what you all think….

My best friend of 16 years went MIA on me.

Little bit of background. We are both in our 40’s. Have been what I and most would consider best friends since we met in our early 30’s. Would spend 2-3 evenings a week together grilling, playing board games, going to dinner together etc

In mid 2024 she started dating a man who was very emotionally unavailable. Despite this she really really liked him and I supported her relationship with him as best I could. I never spoke ill of him and did my best to be there for her when they hit rough patches.

In November 2024 I helped her throw a birthday party for her mother (50+ people showed up) and she was rude to me the entire time despite me doing everything I could to help.

The next day I took her with me to a Vikings game. She was upset with me this day as well.

A week or so later she went with me to my company holiday party. She openly cried and talked about her relationship with this man and how upset it made her as he was emotionally unavailable.

After the holiday party she dropped off the face of the earth. The last message I sent her was shortly after the holiday party that simply said “I know you’re going though a hard time, I’m here for you”.

She did reach out once in January 2025 to let me know she was having some non cancerous spots removed (this is her second time going through this, the first time I waited with her family in the waiting room while she was in surgery). I messaged her back and let her know I would drive her to the hospital or help with aftercare if she needed me to.

That’s it. After that she went MIA again. I feel like I don’t know if I am the asshole for not reaching out more/again. In the same breath I feel like she let a man come between us and I just don’t feel comfortable with that, especially after such a long term friendship. I don’t even know if they are still together or not.

Thoughts? AITA?!

Thanks for reading this ❤️❤️❤️