I've been trying to have a better relationship with my mom but everytime I spend time with her or we talk on the phone she puts me on level 11[my way of saying overwhelmed, over the edge sad/angry/frustrated]. My dad and my family always want me to talk to her/reason with her on things.

She's so judgmental and has a very boring life. She hasn't worked for 20 years but she's always expressing her opinion about my job or wanting me to come over before or after work. I've been working on boundaries but they don't last. She asks me the same questions over and over. I just got a new job but she liked my other one better I guess. She has such a limited life experience, she's religious and we are not the same at all. I feel like she's so stubborn about everything. She doesn't drive and she's just bored all day. She's been complaining to me about my dad and feeling trapped in her marriage since I was in high school [35f]. I'm tired of being her best friend, therapist, nurse, helper, everything. She doesn't even really understand anything about me or care to know. I moved back home a few years ago and it's gotten so much worse.

I'm struggling in so many ways and whenever she sees me sad we have to have a pity party battle about it. She just says she wishes I could be happy because she has it so much worse than me. I'm stuck in this family situation. I feel guilty in a way, bc I know I should be spending quality time with her, but she doesn't even know how to have a conversation and she never wants to do anything at all! She just scrolls on Facebook and listens to crazy preachers on her phone. Sometimes I try to take her places but she wants to immediately go back home.

Occasionally I can handle some mother-daughter time but it really wears me out and she doesn't understand why I can't be like that [fake happy] more. I just want to live my life without her making constant comments about my body, my relationships, and her narrow perspective on everyone and everything. I know she can be sweet and she loves me and I'm sure I'll feel bad when she's gone, but maybe lll be happy because she can be free!

Whenever I complain I feel like people say "aw but she's your mom" "she's just bored" "you need to talk to your mom before she's not here anymore" and so on. My mom doesn't even realize how she's effected me and my life negatively and so I don't try to bring up mean things she's said to me because she denies it or says she's trying to be a good mom which I know but also she refuses to do anything different and I'm sure she can't even imagine what to do since she disempowers herself constantly. "I can't do [anything] bc Dad" which isn't even true it only is in her mind.