I (53F) have been providing daycare services for My Daughter (31F). She has a 3 1/2 yo. For context, My Daughter and I had a falling out several years ago. She physically assaulted me and I had her arrested. She is the favored grandchild and is very self entitled. She has a very hard-core victim mentality and feels that I owe her. 2 1/2 years ago, I began watching my granddaughter full-time for her. There had been no issues. I had followed all her rules and done everything that she had expected. I had gone above and beyond because I am grandma and made sure that both My Daughter and granddaughter were taken care of. Now for the situation at hand. One evening, we had gone out to dinner along with a friend of my daughters. My granddaughter was playing with another child at another table. My granddaughter is nonverbal autistic. One of the parents at the table had been making faces With a look of discussed as it was obvious he did not understand my granddaughter. The whole table was speaking Spanish. So I discreetly put into Google translate that My granddaughter was nonverbal special needs. I walked over to the table and politely showed the gentleman. He looked at me and laughed and said he spoke English. I apologize but explained I was trying to be polite. My daughter got loud and embarrassed me in front of the whole restaurant telling me to sit down and mind my business. as I got back to the table, she started reading me about how I didn’t need to discuss her daughter’s diagnosis. Her friend backed me up and said I didn’t say anything about her diagnosis just that she was special needs. My daughter still being loud insisted she knew what was said. We left got back to my daughter‘s house and she was still standing flat footed 10 toes down that I apparently overstepped my bounds. She did not want to hear anything I had to say. Again, her friend backed me up, but My Daughter did not wanna hear anything about it. The next day there was a fundraiser that my granddaughter was involved in. I showed up with my mother. My mother got out of my vehicle, walked over to My Daughter‘s vehicle. I took a moment to gather my belongings and then began to walk over. I stopped one vehicle away and took a moment to collect myself when my daughter came around the corner started giving me an attitude about not coming over to see my granddaughter before the event. I looked at her and stated that I was not going to get into it with her. Continued walking to the car to see my granddaughter, and my daughter began to berate me calling me, racist that I was racially profiling and carrying on. She then stated that if I didn’t know how to act that I should just leave. So instead of arguing with her, I’ve looked at my mother and said I have to go! My Daughter continued, saying all kinds of hurtful, nasty improper things to me. I snapped! I told her that she was a self entitled bitch that needed to get over herself. She kept running her mouth and I told her that regardless of the situation I was her mother and she needed to respect me. Again, she just kept running at the mouth so I was very angry and in the heat of the moment told her she needed to figure out her life on her own that I would no longer assist her in babysitting or taking care of my granddaughter. I then walked away and got my vehicle. She proceeded to text me that I should be embarrassed and ashamed of myself for doing that at the function for my granddaughter and how she wasn’t going to deal with my threats anymore, etc. I have never threatened to not watch my granddaughter nor have I ever overstepped bounds before. I love my granddaughter more than life itself and miss her greatly. Has this happened a couple weeks ago and I have not seen her since. My Daughter believes that I should apologize and say that I was wrong and admit that I was racially profiling someone. My question is am I the asshole in this situation?