By fishlope- • Score: 7 • April 8, 2025 5:27 AM
Hi all, am I the asshole here?
My (24) apartment complex has a community dog park for residents, I have taken my dog regularly for the two years we've lived here, we have a group chat to coordinate taking our dogs out to play. Last year a (20-22? YO) moved into my building on the same breezeway with their then German Shepherd mix puppy. Puppy had some issues with reactivity (barking at other dogs. Owner bought a bark collar that masked, but did not resolve the reactivity) Puppy was not particularly social with other dogs in the dog park except for a select few, which is still the case now.
For simplicity, this is dog A.
Dog A's owner has a muzzle for dog A, but does not regularly use it, and does not use it in the dog park at all. (To me this suggests they know the dog is a bite risk in certain situations, and isn't managing the dog in all situations the dog may try to bite)
Within the last 6 months, dog A has escalated to biting/attempting to bite other dogs. My neighbor's dog B was bit in the ear and sustained a minor cut, but dog B's owner did not report the bite to our management office nor animal control to my knowledge. Dog B's owner has stopped bringing their dogs to the park because of dog A.
Last month, my dog was standing near Dog A when the owner went to leash and muzzle dog A to walk home, dog A redirected frustration with this onto my dog and tried to nip at/bite her. Owner had dog a by the collar, so my dog was not bit, but she did not attempt to muzzle her dog again or apologize to me for her dogs behavior.
Last week Dog A, unmuzzled, lunged at a much smaller dog outside my building, yanking the leash out of the owners hands. I did not witness this incident, so I have limited details on it, but neighbor B filled me in on the jist. I took my dog to the park to play with dog C, D, and E (20, 35, 22 respectively), whose owners are all social with dog A's owner.
(🐶MY BEHAVIOR IN QUESTION HERE🐶) As we were leaving, I stopped owner C (very close friends with owner A) and asked if they thought owner A would be offended if they were asked to stop bringing their dog to the group play because of the bite/attempted bites that had occurred, or to consider a bite proof muzzle if they were to continue bringing dog A.
Owners C (and D to an extent) were of the opinion anyone who was concerned could just not bring their dog to play with the group and that it was unfair to exclude dog A from the evening group play, despite the behaviors dog is presenting. Since then, things have been extremely awkward anytime I've come across C or D, and I feel like they may have spoken to others in the group about it as well. In fairness, I have social anxiety and may have projected my own awkward feelings on the few interactions I've had. I've felt sick to my stomach about the whole issue all week, I don't like causing trouble, I was not trying to be rude or malicious, I just want my dog to be safe and to not feel like I have to walk on eggshells in my complex.
Soo... Am I the asshole here for suggesting the possibility of asking owner not to bring dog A?
(Additional info in case you're somehow not tired of reading- I have decided to not take my dog if I know dog A will be present as indicated by messages on our group chat, am not messaging when I take my dog out to the park, and will remove myself and my dog if they show up. I have spoken with the office about my concerns and will follow up with them this week about what, if any, actions will be taken, and I am doing my best to avoid all contact with dog A because I don't want my dog to be the target again and get bit, or to get bit myself trying to protect my dog. However my dog LOVES playing with every other dog in the group, and I feel really awkward about taking her. In hindsight I regret trying to handle it myself and saying anything to anyone but the office, regardless of if I'm the asshole or not)
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