AITH-I've been with my spouse many years. Over a decade. We met later on in life for him. He never had much of a life as his mother controlled his every move. Because of this, and past addiction issues his father has never cared for him. One sibling. We raise a child together. In-laws (all three) are all heavy drinkers. There have been many disrespectful moments over the years and I've always been the bigger person and took the high road. A year ago it all came to blows and husband told them how it was that we had boundaries, and that their disrespectful behavior was done or we were done. Without any apologies on their end we went back and for a year I continued with being nice and doing all the right things despite all they had done. About a month into it they were already back to the same ways- pushing for more, not respecting boundaries, MIL feels like I've stolen her man and will never get over it. Tries to guilt him and inappropriately asks questions tries to touch him oddly etc. he's been pretty firm with her. We had it such low contact that we only go visit once every few months and they live in the same town on the same street. We don't call or text. We limit visits to an hour. She can't handle it. She can't even be nice for one hour. Long story short she recently did some games and hurt the feelings of our 8 year old. No apologies but two months later she sends a card to me for my bday and to my son for his. I send them back. My husband and I have talked about handing this situation this very way but then he starts questioning himself (which is the intent in sending the cards)despite knowing that she does this exact thing every time she does something wrong to manipulate. We have had so many talks and he says he's done and then It's like I get the blame. I'm not making him choose but I know their goal is to have him and not myself Or my son (not his bio but had raised his entire life) I told my husband I am done with them with or without him so he needs to let me know what he wants. This has ruined my life for a long time. Holidays, birthdays, our wedding, the list goes on. I believe in family. If there was any other option I would do it but I know there isn't. I know if we went back it would be the same way it always is. If he gives them what they want and goes back I know it will Destroy us. AITA that though I'm not giving him a ultimatum I do expect him to finally choose us and be done.