Soooo my other half and I decided ”it was time” time to make things official, on paper. We have been together for close to 18 years, We planned a very small ceremony at my other half’s family owned business which we both work at (funeral home/has a chapel, convenience, thought it’d be cool, we are unorthodox like that) which was only supposed to include our parents (my mother and his father), our kids (16 and 12) him, myself, his aunt which is in her 70’s we are all close, and our preacher family friend to marry us. We chose it this way because it was a quick tiny thing and we have been together for so long we planned to have a reception at a later date where anyone and everyone is able to attend since we did this quietly and last minute. We have some drama on both sides of our family (crazy sisters, dad remarried have no relationship with his wife, stepbrother or him most of the time, holiday calls and what not, deeper yes) and just wanted our kids and us to be able to be at peace and quietly enjoy our union. My daughter’s boyfriend wound up joining us last minute which was a nice surprise since he is like family to us. Well as you can assume the drama WAS REAL. Even with us doing this his father’s girlfriend who is already known to us as an attention seeker came to the gathering with his father. (We had no qualms whether she was there or not to appease his father, is what it is) She saw that there was a reserved sign placed on the front row seat of the pews for his deceased mother whom he was very close to and always wanted to be at our wedding. She died a very painful death due to cancer, it was and still is heart wrenching. This was my idea and his aunt and our children executed it by placing a reserved sign over that spot with dried flowers from his mother’s funeral brought by his aunt that she had kept for several years. She’s very sentimental and I was enamored that she even kept these. She is a true gem. I was in a secluded room changing for the event so I did not see or witness anything unfold but was told by my loved ones. His fathers girlfriend, upset by the gesture, left, in his vehicle, leaving him so detached from the ceremony that it made us feel horrible, my other half had to go and find him (on the phone w girlfriend) just to sign as witness to our marriage license and was totally detached the rest of the event (small toast, cake cutting, general socializing) my other half talked to his dad apologizing for the gesture and the fact that we had our ceremony on his mothers death date, and the reserved seat for her (they were married 47 years). This date had sentimental value for both of us, I had a daughter when I was 19 on the same date whom passed away. This was an hour maybe less ceremony. As my other half and his father are talking and quite emotional my other half sees a text on his fathers phone that pops up from fathers girlfriend that says “is it over yet I’ll come pick you up” we spent the rest of the evening (kids and I, daughters boyfriend) consoling my other half with the fact that his mother couldn’t physically be there and his fathers girlfriend walked out of this event. My daughter’s boyfriend spoke quickly when we got home and said “that was bullshit” which honestly took the words right out of my mouth. There is so much baggage with this story but honestly it would take years to write. This is the gist. Am I the asshole for strumming up the idea to honor his mother at our ceremony?