Feeling very under-appreciated in my marriage lately. I’m 39, have been married just shy of 15 years with no kids, have a steady 100K salary with an above average credit score. About 5 years ago I let my wife quit her job because it was stressing her out. She was bringing that stress home with her, so I thought it would help us both giving her the option to quit. I pay all the bills.

She’s riddled with “anxiety” even though she won’t go to the doctor. Does not have a drivers license. And gained weight (obviously). 5 years later she never found another job, drinks 5-9 beers almost daily and still gets bitchy. Now that I’m nearing 40 I’m working out daily, and have changed my diet. I’ve turned a corner and left her behind but not without trying to tug her along. The neighborhood we live in is slowly declining, so I want to move us somewhere safer, but her “anxiety” makes it almost impossible to even have that conversation with her. So not only do I work 10 hours a day in the city, I come home to a home that I no longer love.

I was raised to support my wife. My parents are still together, although seemingly unhappy at times. But I’ve been wanting to step out of my marriage lately due to feeling very under-appreciated, no longer as attracted to her, unsatisfied sexually and can’t stop myself from thinking about other women. Women I’m friends with, always tell me how lucky my wife is. At this point any women of child-bearing age, with a flat stomach and a drivers license is looking good. Due to my increased workout regimen, my sex drive is significantly increased as well.

I’m afraid to get divorced and be forced to pay spousal support to her (even though I basically already do) but I’m not happy. Is this the end? Or am I just the asshole?