My (F, 42) sweet father just recently passed away. We were very close and I adored him. I quit my job in October to care for him. We had hoped he would get better, but found out in January that he was terminal. My sister, we’ll call her Belinda (F, 49) never came to visit. She would regularly plan to come visit and then cancel. It really upset him. This went on for the last several months. By the time she made it to visit, our dad was no longer conscious. She always had excuses for not coming. It’s a 5.5 hour drive, I understand that that’s stressful, but she always had plenty of time to do many other extra-curricular things. For me to visit, it was a 3 1/2 hour drive. But I came every single week. I left my job, and my husband went down to part time so that I would be able to be away and he could be home to care for our children. I would spend part of the week in Connecticut, and then the other part home in New York. I missed so many milestones with my own family. This went on for about 7 months. Fast-forward to January when we learned that our father was terminal. Belinda immediately started ticking off the things that she wanted from the estate. It infuriated me to be honest. After the funeral, she stated that there was a cheap flight that she could take from New York to Connecticut, and rent a truck one way home after picking up the things that she wanted. Why wasn’t this cheap flight an option when our dad was alive? She’s already planned her weekends that she’s going to come and pick things up. Additionally, she is asking for a pretty significant chunk of the estate. Dad left a very open ended will because we all generally get along pretty well and I suspect he didn’t think there would be any arguments. However I am extremely resentful to her because she couldn’t be bothered to show up when our dad was alive, couldn’t be bothered to come and spend time, or come help care for him or any of those things. And let me tell you at the end it was very, very difficult. But she had plenty of time to mark the items that she wants, and continues to cry ‘poor’. Meanwhile, my family’s been living on the part-time income of one person. I’m considering speaking to the estate attorney to see if I can perhaps be compensated for the seven months that I was out of work. If I do, does that make me an a-hole? I will never regret taking that time off to spend with my father, because he was completely lucid up until his last two days. We had a great time together and made memories, and just spent time together. I decided to do this because because of a deep love for my dad, but we are very struggling very much financially right now. So, if I requested compensation, would I be the a-hole?