I’m (F, 26) my friend is (F ,26) we have had our ups and down in our friendship like most do. Our birthdays are like 47 days apart. I have lived with her and she has lived with me. When her and her husband (M,26) first got married and got their own place, I helped pack her stuff (basically packed it for her myself) and helped a little moving them in. Me and her husband do not get along unless we have to (in other words we don’t like each other). They end up having their first child together, and when that child is 5 months old or almost 5 months old, he beats the sh!t out of her tried killing her (he was on drugs and things) and he ends up getting arrested. She called me and I dropped everything and went to be by her side and help raise the child. Let me clarify that and say she worked and I stayed home with the child and when she came home she barely had to do anything. The place we lived I always kept clean, her child was always clean and happy and I tried to do whatever I could for them. They start getting back together and (whether it gets admitted or not) she tried to hide it till I said something about it. We move out of where we are living to somewhere else (which wasn’t a good idea in the first place to go there) there was drugs going on fights/arguments and such. When her husband got his ankle monitor off (which btw, when that was on, he was nice because he had to be) it slowly at first started to change. Let’s keep in mind, he is still using drugs, drinking like crazy and can’t keep a decent job. They have another child now, and he was from what I was told (by her) a little abusive during the pregnancy again like he was during the first one just not as bad. Anyway, in the summer of 2024 I reconnect with a guy I had known since I was 15 or 16 and we hit it off and got married and are trying to have a family. My husband only is nice to her husband because I have asked him to be. My husband can’t stand a “man” who has put his hands on a girl. He really can’t stand the fact that her husband has tried to harm me more then once, and has made claims to bash my head in (he’s I have proof) and would take money from his children and their mother for whatever he needs. And yes she will do anything for her children but she will also do anything she can to make him happy and to keep the peace so they aren’t fighting. She has told me (I’m big on people keeping their words) multiple times, that she would bring her children and herself and visit me, but has not been allowed because of him and because she simply doesn’t want to (but doesn’t tell me that). Yesterday she and her children were supposed to come after supposedly “turning the husband in to jail” (because he has not been checking in to probation or anything and has supposedly failed all of his drug tests on probation) so after my husband and I got things for her and the children for when they are here and they don’t show up because they would rather ride around and her go get her nails done and other things, so I get upset and my feelings hurt (keep in mind she told me before I left she was happy I was going and going to live my life, but she was also sad and mad at me because I was supposed to be there for her and help her and she didn’t want to live with him alone because she didn’t trust him fully) because it was the up-tenth time she has done that. So I texted her and basically called her out for that and told her if she wanted to she would have (which in turn she said it’s not that she doesn’t want to but getting her husband to go anywhere is like pulling teeth) and I said I would reach out when I was ready and wanted to talk. She twisted it around on me and said she was doing other important things and also trying to find a place for her kids to sleep ( keep in mind, everyone where they were living where I was as well before my husband, got kicked out for all the traffic, drugs, OD’s and such) I told her what she told me that she could go back to her adoptive dads, the problem is she can’t go back to his home(s) because of the husband (because we all only put up with him for her and the kids), she also said she was trying to get the husband to either “turn himself in” or go to rehab, now I’m not proud of this or anything else, but I’m married to a felon and there is felons in his family and friends, I also studied a little bit of law in college, so I don’t entirely believe the things she says. When it got turned around on me, both her and her husband say things such as I don’t care about them or their children, I’m always the problem, I’m a toxic friend and I have never done anything for them ever. But I also told her if she wanted me and my family’s help or in our lives or anything she could come by/ needed to come by and be at my home or my father in laws before a certain time. Because once it gets to a certain time, you know she doesn’t care and is not coming. She only texts me or calls me when she has something upsetting her, whoever is making her mad or when she wants to talk sh!t (on her husband, family or anything going on in her life) but when I need her, when I call or text her she doesn’t answer and if she does, it’s while she’s at work or days to weeks later. I know that her husband gets mad if she’s talking to me no matter how it is (text or anything) when we lived together, I slept in the living room and they had the other bedroom and yes, I was still helping take care of the child (but I had backed off some what, because her husband made it clear they didn’t need me and I was not going to be around “living” being alive or living with them anymore) and would accuse her (us) of talking sh!t about him. If her and I had any conversations with the door closed or anything he would be where he could listen as well. Let’s also keep in mind, she has made plans with me (ex: on my birthday or days of importance) and ditched me for him when they were dating and married. There’s so much more tbh.. I just wanted someone advice if they also think I should just cut the friendship off or if I should keep trying and be there incase something happens?