Completely lost on how to deal with my girlfriend’s son. I have been dating and living with my GF for 10yrs. We are both older and have children from a previous marriage. I have become, or so I thought, good friends with her younger son of 25. I have been a part of his life for the last ten years, while he finished HS and then as he moved out a couple times and has struggled starting his own career. I’ve always been kind and generous to him over all these years.

We had an interaction recently that is creating a ton of stress for my GF and I’m at a real loss if IATAH.

Son currently doesn’t live in house and while his mother and I were away on vacation he wanted to get something out of the house. Mom accidentally took back up keys with her in suitcase so everyone was locked out until we got back. The son calls and say he wants to go over and get something, I explained the problem of house being locked and ask if he could wait a couple day for his mother to get back. He tells me he wants to break in and I say I wasn’t OK with that and again asked him to wait. Fast forward 20 minutes and I see him on the security camera with a friend trying to break in. I don’t confront him but rather wait to see what happens. He ends up breaking in and then call me demanding I give the combination to my vault so he can get one of his rifles. I tell him no and that’s when all hell breaks loose. He starts telling me to get out of his house, that he and his mom don’t want me around and just being an overall ass. I stand firm and say no it’s my safe. He pushes me and then I say it’s more my house than his (common law) and that if he doesn’t leave I’ll call the cops.

He Leaves and later I send an apology stating I want to work it out but some trust has been shattered . The son tells his Mom he to doesn’t want to get in between us but then demands another apology. I tell my girlfriend that I don’t want anyone having the combination to the safe, including my own children. Son tells MoM if I don’t give safe comb, he will leave and stop visiting her. Am I the ass hole for not wanting anyone in my say. Son feels it’s his house and I should tell him what to do. I threatened to call the cops on my when he was in round