My husband recently told me he felt trapped in our marriage because of our history. He said he wants to travel alone but he feels like he can’t because I don’t trust him. He has traveled alone before in the past, earlier on in our marriage. We’ve been married 22 years, since teens. But he was unfaithful all three times (and yes, I forgave him, judge me, whatever.) Recently we traveled together and his only hobby was going out. He had the opportunity to do other things but didn’t. He spent one day of 3 months biking on and island with a friend.

So I told him I felt hurt because our history and that he doesn’t really want to do anything else but go out to bars and clubs. It’s like, it’s the only thing he finds fun. Note: He is a social butterfly and very intelligent because of how inquisitive he is about everything. If you ask him about anything, he probably has some sort of knowledge about it because he reads a ton. However, that doesn’t necessarily translate when traveling. Like you’d think he’d do more sight seeing, hiking, going to villages, meeting people outside of the bars. Idk.

I understand that he probably wants to just see the world and perhaps find himself, given we were married young, had children young and never had the opportunity to to find who we are as individuals. He says he doesn’t know what he likes because he’s always with me. Everything he does has to be with me for me to feel secure.

I understand that even in marriage, people deserve to be individuals. People deserve to be themselves and not attached at the hip. And people deserve to live a full and happy life. I know people travel all the time without their spouse, but assuming there’s trust, communication and understanding…. And other hobbies???

AITAH for having a problem with him traveling alone? And thinking he’s just going to repeat history? God, I do realize it sounds like I have a fucked up marriage and it’s probably doomed.