Reddit, this is my throwaway account, and all names are fake.

I’m not even sure if this is the right place to post, but I really need to get this off my chest.

Oh, great just a minor detail I forgot to mention: I’ve got ADHD. Diagnosed at the tender age of 10, and let me tell you, it's still doing wonders for my ability to stay focused and tell a coherent story. So, fair warning: this is gonna be a bit of a ride, and I may jump all over the place. Buckle up.

With my sister Allie’s wedding coming up, I’ve been feeling pretty overwhelmed. I love her and I’m happy for her, she’s marrying a great guy, Danny, and she’s worked hard to build a good life. But beneath the excitement, there’s a lot of complicated family stuff bubbling up, and I’m struggling with how to navigate it all.

Allie and I have always been close despite our age difference, but our family dynamics have never been simple. Our parents divorced when I was a teenager, and after that, our relationship with our biological mom, Linda, became strained. She’s struggled with mental health issues for years, and that made it hard to have any kind of consistent or healthy connection with her. I still care, but we don’t talk as much as I wish we did.

After the divorce, our dad remarried Macy. Allie and our brother had a pretty good relationship with her, and honestly, they deserved that. But my experience with Macy was completely different. I really did try to build something with her, but our interactions were always tense full of fighting, bickering, and complaining. It felt like no matter what I did, it wasn’t good enough. And while Allie and our brother got to see her softer side, they weren’t immune to her negativity either. She’d sometimes speak badly about them behind their backs, and when I tried to bring it up, they wouldn’t believe me. It was frustrating and isolating.

Looking back, I understand that I probably added to the tension too. My teenage years were rough. After the divorce, I was hit with a ton of emotional stress and trauma. I stopped playing sports something I genuinely loved and started working full-time after school to help Dad pay bills. I took on a lot of responsibility, from helping raise my autistic brother to looking out for Allie when she was younger. Dad was my rock during that time. He was the one person who really saw me, especially when Linda wasn’t able to.

But the hardest part of it all? Macy still sees me as that same troubled teenager. Like I’m frozen in time. No matter how much I’ve grown, no matter how much I’ve changed, she still treats me like I’m reckless and clueless. I’m a mom now. I have a beautiful daughter in 5th grade and a wonderful boyfriend who’s a firefighter—we’ve been together since 2021. I’ve built a stable, happy life. But in Macy’s eyes, I’m still the black sheep. Still the bad influence. And that’s a weight I’m tired of carrying.

It's been tough for our family since our dad passed away in 2021. He was the glue that held us together, and his absence has been deeply felt. Before he passed, he asked me to be there for my siblings, and I've tried to do that.

Things got more complicated when Allie got engaged. I was genuinely excited for her, but with Macy and Linda still locked in their constant war yes, they still can’t stand each other I hit a breaking point. I told Allie I needed to set some boundaries. I said I could put my issues aside for her wedding, but Linda likely wouldn’t, and I wasn’t going to babysit her or keep the peace between two grown women who can't be civil.

But the worst part? Allie didn’t even respect those boundaries I set before the wedding planning started. She pushed past them like they didn’t matter, and that felt like a slap in the face. Like my emotional well-being was less important than keeping up appearances.

She had asked me to be in the wedding party before that fight. I declined not because its not want to be part of it didn’t want to start any drama since our stepmom financially involved. And with Macy making almost all of the wedding decisions, I felt it was safer to take the high road and avoid any unnecessary drama. Still, I told her I’d help however I could. But my decision stung, and after our argument, we didn’t talk for three months.

Eventually, I reached out. I apologized and owned up to my part. Around that time, Allie lost her job, and I jumped in to help. I assisted with job applications and even got her an interview lined up she ended up landing a job at a school district instead. I thought we were healing.

She later asked me to redo the wedding programs that i payed for, and I had no issue doing it we even opted to get them printed professionally. But after that, communication dropped off again. Then I found out she had her bachelorette party without even telling me. That cut deep. I felt excluded and unwanted, so I backed off again.She invited me to her bachelorette party a couple of months prior, but didn't even bother to tell me when it happened, which hurt me deeply.

When we finally talked, I expressed how hurt I was. She told me we could talk more after the wedding, but I felt brushed aside. I told her she was being selfish only focusing on her own feelings until her big day. I pointed out how she hasn’t been considering how I feel, or how any of this impacts me. I wasn’t trying to be mean I just needed her to hear me. I even said she was acting more like a "see you next Tuesday" than a bridezilla, which I regret now, even if I meant it in frustration.

I've helped Ally numerous times in the past, whether it was with moving, financial struggles, or other life challenges. I've always been there for her, even when it felt like an obligation. Despite our sibling relationship, I've consistently prioritized her needs and provided support whenever she needed it. For instance, I've helped her with job applications and even got her an interview for a college administrative assistant position, although she ended up interviewing for a receptionist role at a school district instead. Given my history of support, I felt hurt and unappreciated when she didn't include me in her bachelorette party or keep me updated about her plans.

Now, I don’t really know where things stand. I’ve been going to therapy, trying to better myself, trying to move forward from all the trauma. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made. But it feels like Allie and Macy only see the past version of me. Like I’ll never fully escape the shadow of who I was, even though I’ve worked so hard to grow.

I love my sister, and I want to be there for her. I want to celebrate her and Danny’s love, and I want this to be a joyful moment in her life. But it’s complicated. And I’m just trying to hold everything together the best I can, even when it feels like I’m doing it alone.

So I really do think AITA.