I tried to post this in relationship advice but it wouldn’t let me.

Would i be the a-hole for reaching out?

I really need advice on this. I was in a long distance relationship a few months ago. We met through an online game and became best friends quickly, he even came to visit me once for a few days. We both clearly had feelings and so we started officially dating 4 or 5 months later. We were official for 3 months and i visited him a few times then.

The beginning of the end was when i got a new job with weird hours that didn’t line up well with his classes. We had less and less time to even talk to each other. Around that time i started to get really depressed and couldn’t find happiness in myself. I realized that i was relying on him too much for my own happiness and started feeling like a burden. I broke up with him thinking that it would be better for him, that i was relieving him.

Overall, it was a bunch of bs that i talked myself into. None of it was real, all made up in my head.

There hasn’t been a day that I haven’t regretted that choice since. I think about it constantly and i keep thinking to myself that i should just leave it alone. I made the choice, i am devastated by it.

I feel as though if i reach out it’ll just be salt in the wound. I hurt him and lost the best person i will ever have known and i have to live with that now.

Is it selfish for me to reach out to him and try to mend things? Deep down i think i know it is.