I 15 almost 16(F) am an ethnic Korean, immigrated from Korea to the US. I immigrated when I was about 1, so I don't remember Korea's influences at all. On top of that, I never visited Korea because my mom hated her relatives in Korea. I grew up as a literal American kid, just ethnically Korean.

My parents (55M and 53F) have always been pretty controlling, so I have had somewhat docile Korean traits embedded in me. One thing I will always believe in is my personal freedom. I don't believe that I'm "below" my parents and that I should always listen to them just because they're my parents, I do believe that they somewhat have to earn my respect. And I think they have, for the most part. It's when they arbitrarily try to control my decisions that I speak out.

Frequently, we have arguments where I ask them for something and they literally tell me "no" with no reason. It's not anything related to them (ex financially or even something needing their permission). For instance, my friend recently nominated me for the USC Mind challenge. I told them I'd do it, since I didn't see a problem with it.

I asked my parents if I could do it, explaining the benefits and the meaning behind the trend, but they told me a flat no. I asked them for a reason and it was incredibly skewed, something about how the weather was cold since it's night. I asked them if I could do it in the day tomorrow, and they mumbled some other excuse about how they already said no and I had to follow their rules.

Then they talked to me about how I have to listen to them since their word is law, no matter what, even if it's unfair. So I asked them if I had to jump off a bridge if they told me to, and they told me they never would. Typical. It probably means a "yes."

So I told them that it's my body, my decision. I'm older now that I can make my own decisions, and I weighed everything I should. But my parents told me that if I did that, they would punish me by not letting me go to events I already planned with friends. Their reasoning is that if I did whatever I want, they can too.

I don't understand because what I do isn't even affecting them. But if they make that decision, it's going to devastate me because they don't even let me go out with friends that often since they want me to focus on my academics.

I'm so sick and tired of my parents trying to make me into a perfect little docile Korean girl who always listens to her parents, has no friends, gets 100's on all of her tests, and remains a wallflower for the rest of her life. They don't understand that the American influences are already making me different.

I have tried talking about it with them, but they will not listen. It's fucking terrible. Sometimes our arguments get so bad that it gets pretty violent, to the point where any normal person seeing it would call CPS. (I don't know if my neighbors can hear our screams but unfortunately they never have). I can't wait to go to college, I don't care where I go. I just need to get away from them. Advice? AIHA or are they?