So this is my first ever post I don’t even use Reddit really but I’ve lost all friends and don’t see a therapist so yeah I also gardened so sorry if this is everywhere.

I am very insecure in my relationship of almost 5 years. I’ve never felt this way with past partners. I feel like the reason I am with this one is because off the bat when I met him he talked about his exs way to much mostly all bad but none the less annoying to hear about so often. He also on our first date wanted to post me to make his ex mad because she and her best friend still followed him. I’ve brought this up before but he “doesn’t remember doing that”.

Another reason why I feel insecure was also in the beginning of our relationship. He has downloaded bumble twice.(side note we met on bumble) one day we went on a hike and when we finished he connected his phone to his car and I saw he was getting bumble notifications. I stayed quiet but later brought it up. He said he downloaded it to make friends which if you don’t know bumble has a “friends” side of the app and a “dating” side of the app he was on both…both friends AND DATING. I asked him why both. His response was to have more options. Then told me that he did have a “weird” interaction with a girl on the dating side because as they were talking she asked to met up and take pictures of him because he was so handsome and some other things I won’t get into. Conversation ended with him respecting my boundaries of not having the app period because he was looking for a job and he can make friends there. The second time we went out for dinner at his fav restaurant because I wanted to treat him out. And as we sat and were talking his phone went off with a bumble notification. I asked him after dinner why again after we agreed not to do the app. He said he wanted some friends and it’s only on the friends side he was talking to some gay guy but he also called him a cute name. That just bugged me still and I explained how I feel like no matter what side you’re on these people are probably still trying to hook up or casual date on both sides I can be wrong but idk. He then agreed and deleted it and I told him to just wait and try making friends at work or we could have gone to shows and connect with people there or he can hang with my friend group (I had friends at the time).

There has been a couple other crazy things that have happened within these 5 years b it I won’t get to all of them. But anyways my problem is that I’ve gotten way too insecure I’m being controlling. I want to stop but it’s so hard to. So far I’ve told him he can’t have any female friends after a coworker incident, he can’t follow certain women on social media, but the worst of all is video game characters. This is the worst because I know it’s so stupid. My partner has gotten really into gaming he always liked it but it’s become his entire personality rn. He’s wanted to download some oversexual anime girl fighting game which I said no too but anyways. Marvel rivals….he has talked about it with other men at work so I hear these convos (we work together). He has said he doesn’t want to play because he doesn’t care for it. Then him and another coworker start talking about invisible women claiming to each other that they will “goon” to her and talking how over sexualized she is and the game having “jiggle action”. I then find out he’s playing the game a couple of days later. I don’t say anything for a while because I know it’s dumb to be mad over a video game character but it just bugged me. So I do and we get into the biggest argument ever because I’m mad he’s playing and also playing as her character. He starts literally screaming at me saying I’m being crazy and it’s a cartoon and that him and his coworker are just joking. I get mad and I leave but before I leave his mom pulls up I say “your mommy is here” then I talk to her for a bit and leave. Now he is a mommy’s boy like his mom is very much the “boy mom” if you know what I mean. He hates that I mention that so doing that lady comment is very petty. We don’t talk for two days he eventually comes over and we make up and I apologize for saying the mommy comment because it was making him feel like I bullied him. And we just agreed that I am crazy and that I will stop being weird about video game characters. Fast forward to now he isn’t playing rival marvels currently but picked up Fortnite and he’s showing me all his skins because he got some pass? But anyways he gets to one women character but he focused on her a lot and I wanted to be annoyed but ik im being dumb and I promised change. But he sent me a screen shot that he won battle stage and his character is that women character and I find myself right now very annoyed but I can’t say anything because I don’t want to pick a fight about a literal video game character.

Can anyone recommend some advice to help me not be so insecure about fictional women. I couldn’t think of another community that would fit for some advice like this.