I've been with my partner for 4 years, known him for 5 because we broke up for a year after I realized he had the emotional intelligence of a Neanderthal (cheated/gaslit/yelled about everything/ the whole thing).

We reconnected after a year of breaking up and it was very clear he'd done some serious work on himself. I was impressed and gave him another chance. In the time that we broke up, I got a dog Beans. We're definitely imprinted on each other and I cannot imagine my life without him (Beans).

Sometimes I see glimpses of who my BF used to be when he gets angry or feels slighted and I resent him for it, but try to see him for how much he's grown and not these little glimpses.

He doesn't like Beans on the bed, but I feel safe with Beans. I'm okay with him not sleeping with us but during the day if I'm relaxing or napping I invite him up. My bf scruffs him to get him off and beans yelps every time. Bf says it's because he's a baby that's attached to his mommy but I feel like he's actually hurting him.

Beans has chronic health issues and recently had to go on antibiotics to fight a reoccurring infection. He is so damn picky and not a dog that eats anything so it's very fucking hard to get him to take his meds. We found that if we stick it in chicken or steak and hold his head up, he'll swallow it (there's three pills he needs to take morning and night).

While I was out having dinner with my parents, he was trying to give beans his medication. At some point he got frustrated and held beans mouth closed and beans was yelping then beans pissed himself on the couch out of fear.

I feel like my bf only told me this because I would come home and see pee on the couch but he says it's because he felt bad. Feeling remorse or not..I did not think this okay in the slightest and there's other ways to handle this situation. Holding a dogs mouth closed so hard that he yelps a bunch then pisses himself is not one of them.

Beans hasn't peed in the house since he was 10wks old. He won't even shit in the house if he has explosive diarrhea over night, so this is extremely out of character.

I'm pissed to say the least and didn't forgive my bf or understand where he's coming from when he says he did it because he cares and wants beans to take his meds so he could get better. The only thing I understand is the frustration but I do not understand how that frustration turned into literally scaring the piss out of beans.

I cried when I got home because I just couldn't imagine how beans felt and my bf started telling about how I think the dog is more important than him and I should see that he (bf) was doing the right thing. It made me sick to my stomach.

This sparked a whole argument where he was just yelling about all the issues we have and I just feel like I'm at the point of no return with this specific incident happening.

I get that I am attached to my dog, but AITAH for wanting to break up over this?