Hi everyone, I don’t usually come on here but looks like I am at a point in my life where I need a third person who can shed some light. Firstly, I believe my family and friends will be bias towards the situation out of love for me. Secondly I’d like to inform you all that I am a south Asian descendant, therefore my upbringing has been of a more strict nature and my culture and family see women as respect. As an example it is frowned upon to wear short clothes that show my body but jeans and top is fine. I just wanted to put this out there before I begin on the situation at hand.

So I have been married for two and a half years living with my in laws as the house we bought needed renovations. Yes me and my partner have had our ups and downs as do all couples but nothing too bad that cannot be handled. Now, three weeks ago my partner and I got into a heated argument where he laid his hands on me and was over my body strangling me. I fought. I scratched at his face and his neck in an attempt to get him off me. He did… when I picked myself up o headed over to him and punched him many times out of anger. This is the first time things went this far. You all must me questioning what I had done for things to go this far. I wanted to stay over at my mother’s house for two nights instead of one.

After the hitting order I started to pack my things whilst he stood and swore at me and my family even going as far as my grandma. He threw things at me but missed. I then told him to go downstairs, three floors down and tell his mother why I would be leaving. He went downstairs and told her I had hit him. This made me very mad, as a man I believe you take responsibility for your actions, but this guy lied. I told his mother the whole truth who sympathised with me but told me as women cannot hit their husbands. I went on to tell her that if any man so much as puts his finger on me I will hit him. I then went to my mother’s house.

A day later he starts apologising but I’m not ready for it. Day three comes around he apologises again still I am not ready to hear it. So he threatens to post a nude of me publicly. Initially I thought he wouldn’t, so I said do what you want. Then he sent me a screen shot. A nude of me with a caption disgracing my reputation my character and my name. It showed it was uploaded two minutes ago on Snapchat. I lost all feeling in my body. He realised what he’d done and how much trouble he was going to be in. He then started saying he was just trying to scare me he had not posted for anyone to see it as it was on a private story with just me on there. He said he just wanted me home and because I would not come back to him he did this out of anger. Things were very bad from my end. I know he was scared his actions would mount to a divorce and more. Thinking I wouldn’t tell his mother and he pleaded with them to contract me in sims to have me come back to their house. They called and I told them. They were angry his sister shouted at him like I never heard before. He told them no one saw anything and it was just to scare me. Things calmed down a little and his mother tried to reason with me to come back in support of her son.

The next day he requested I see him one last time as he described it. The conversation went well I felt heard. I told him he broke my trust as a husband his role is to protect me yet he was the one attacking me. Anyhow he understood it would take time for me to trust him again but he said he still wanted to try. I decided to give him a chance. Stupid of me maybe but I did.

Things were not the same. I put on a happy face everyday. Trying to trust and forgive. My face showed him I was happy, but I could not see him the same way. I made excuse to not be intimate, which told me a lot within myself but I still tried to stick it out a little longer. Two weeks in and we are together working on our house we bought. I asked him hold my phone as I had my hands full. Two texts came in. He did not unlock my phone although he has my password but he asked me who it was. I told him it was a guy from uni as I am in my third year at uni. I told him I am only in contact with two males from uni due to help with my assignments. I went on to tell him he can look through the messages as he will find they are solely about uni. He didn’t say much.

Due to it being my last year at uni it has been tough. I go to the university library to study, to which he would huff and puff, he would make comments that j don’t spend time with me. Yet every night we would watch at least one episode of a series we started together before going to sleep. One morning I woke up and told him I had errands to run which included going to my mums house to collect something. We agreed we would have brunch together when I got back as he also had to run an errand. When I got to my mums she had cooked and it smelt good, so I texted him saying I’d like to eat at my mums to which he said was fine. Yet, that night he commented that he missed lunch because of me since I ate at my mums I dumbfound. I didn’t say anything as I didn’t want to argue. Three days later I woke up and told him as was going to see my mother and had work for three hours after. My mind plan was to see me mother, work and then go to uni. He got angry that o was going to my mums without having breakfast with him. I snapped, that was it, I had enough. I felt like he was trying to control me. I went two places either my mothers or uni and both he had a problem with every time and both were things I cannot let go for him. Bear in mind he does not study nor has a proper job, he spends most of his time at home not doing much. Occasionally goes to the gym or the garage and runs a few errands.

I left and came to my mother’s bring my important things with me. He apologised a lot, I told him I wanted to separate until my deadlines as I cannot have him affecting my career and my degree was important to me. He said if I wished to separate he will divorce me. I don’t know what to think and I don’t know what I want. In all honesty the disrespect of my body and reputation hurt me more than the strangling and the horrible swears.