Hi Reddit people, I 22(F) have a boyfriend 25(M) that I’ve been with since I was 18 so 4ish years now. He’s my first ever boyfriend and I want to hope my only ever boyfriend except now something happened and it feels like I can’t have that.

So a big part of our relationship involves his friend group, 7 people including him, 3 girls, 4 guys. They’ve all been friends since high school and are really close, I don’t consider myself a part of their friend group but someone that is just there, I’m just one of their friend’s girlfriend. For dynamics, the 3 girls have dated the other 3 guys at some point, none of the girls dated my boyfriend. Currently one girl and one guy from the group are still together, one of the guys is currently in a talking stage with a girl outside the group. Melissa and Ryan recently broke up, while the other girl has been single for awhile and obviously my boyfriend is with me, I’m sorry if this was complicated to read but the only people you should know are Melissa and Ryan.

My boyfriend makes his friend group his life, I mean he’s closer with them than his family, he sees this group at least 3 times a week and calls/texts everyday. They’re all very close, I’ve never had too many friends, and have never been apart of a friend group so I don’t know if this is normal but the friend group is very comfortable being naked and I guess sexual around each other.

Examples are, sometimes when drunk the girls kiss each other for the guys, also when drunk they tend to flash or strip, they play strip games and sometimes just walk around naked in front of the guys.

I’ve always been uncomfortable by it because it’s obviously catered to the guys but I mean even when the girls were in relationships they’d do it, and the guys don’t seem to mind. I’ve never really told my boyfriend since he usually doesn’t look or pay attention to it unless really drunk, he cheers them on. I’m not close with any of the girls so I can’t really ask them to stop either or they’d get offended as they see the guys as their “brothers”.

A few days ago, all of us went up to the woods to go camping, since Melissa and Ryan just broke up not even 3 weeks ago, they were being extra.. outrageous? Out there? Melissa was flirting with the guys while Ryan kept making comments as a joke. It was definitely done to provoke a relation out of Ryan but I still got really uncomfortable because she kept flirting with my boyfriend, like touching him, offering massages and saying flirty things, and when I’d look at them she’d tell me “don’t worry! He’s all yours” I was very uncomfortable but I didn’t really have much alone time with him anyways, it was a 2 day trip and I didn’t want to fight so I just sucked it up.

Well on the day we were going to leave, I went into one of the tents where we stored our stuff and saw my boyfriend sitting and talking to Melissa while she was topless and changing, based on her body language she was definitely flirting, they noticed me and both greeted me like nothing.

I felt hurt in the moment and greeted them back and walked out and just sat in the car waiting until they needed help packing. The whole time I kind of gave my boyfriend the silent treatment, he noticed something was wrong but I didn’t say anything until we were back home and he said something about Melissa and Ryan’s breakup, I made a comment about how it was his turn was Melissa now. That started an argument which was the first one ever regarding his friend group.

He left and I thought he would come back eventually but he went to stay with one of them and it’s been 3 days now, we’ve texted a bit and I tried calling but he wasn’t ready to talk.

Today he sent me a long message saying that he loved his friend group like family and while he loved me like family, he wouldn’t give them up and someone that loved him wouldn’t make him feel bad about his “family”. He said if I cant accept them I cant accept him, I don’t want to lose him and I feel like I overreacted and was an ahole for arguing because it’s a normal thing for them and they obviously didn’t see it as bad.

The only difference this time was Melissa being flirty but I don’t think they would have hooked up or anything. I really can’t lose him but I feel like I ruined it because I made him feel bad about his friend group, I honestly cried. I’m going to apologize to him and his friend group, I mostly just posted to share, I guess I want some reassurance that maybe I didn’t overreact but obviously the people who have power over my head think I did.