This happened when I was 15. There was this girl in our class. One day I and A were sitting in the computer lab. I'll be honest, A was one of those people who used to be pretty annoying as a younger person, the type of person to keep asking you to—say, get up from the seat you yourself managed to snag, until you gave in and sat at the last bench. That one happened to me at age 12 I think. Happened to me a few times actually, by classmates but we all are friends now. Huh.

Tbh was, she's a lot nicer now with all due honesty. Mostly just irritating back then, no real malice.

One day we had an exam and we were all sitting and reading and I was very stressed out and she kept drumming the table next to us. It was very annoying but I tried to keep it in. Suddenly, maybe it was because of the exam stress, I blurred out, albeit not loudly "Stop that or I'll break your fingers"

Ofcourse the next moment I apologised, it was something I blurted out in anger and didn't actually mean. Why she forgave me, I don't know. I was like you were drumming your fingers and it was irritating me so I blurted it out and I'm sorry.

I remember she did express that she was hurt, but we talked it out and ended up friends? somehow idk either. Generally we were polite and nice towards each other, this happened once.

I'll be honest I don't remember much of anyone from my old school. It was a place of bad memories, of being socially outcasted, technically bullied, ever since the first week, with only the teachers praising me. I had nobody to call a friend technically and the one I had framed me somewhat stalked me tried to lick my face harassed me and was a major reason I had no friends and was a terror. I was afraid of seeing her anywhere, and if asked to choose between sitting next to her or next to a dog, I'd choose dog.

Sorry for going off track, that girl is a different person than A.

I was someone renowned for never losing my temper per se. So maybe that was the moment when in the whole stress, I snapped.

Somehow she still sends me birthday wishes and such.

I feel very bad and I'd like to apologise to her. Maybe the outcome would be the same, but I still don't deserve her forgiveness. I'm sorry.

Seriously I said all this but nobody deserves to hear such things you know? No matter how irritable they're being per se.

How do I sort this out? I don't have a personal WhatsApp number, and the one we communicate through is my mother's, who probably wouldn't want me talking to A since she had a bad reputation in school.

By communicate I mean she messages once on any specific occasion and I reply back.

How do I fix this? I'd probably buy her something in the future if I could.

Should I make an Instagram account? I don't even know if she has it. If she does I'll go in and apologise. I really am sorry about it.

And I'm somewhat scared