Lately, my partner and I have been at each other’s throats. We’re constantly arguing.

For some context: we’re long-distance and have known each other for almost six years. But over the last few months, things have gotten really tense between us. I feel like he hates me sometimes—even though he reassures me every time that he doesn’t.

It all started when he opened up to me about his depression. I guess I responded too quickly by mentioning I had a job interview the next day. I didn’t mean it in a cold or uncaring way—but it came off wrong.

That same kind of thing happened twice after. And honestly… I know I’m not the smartest person. I felt stupid. But I also got angry. Why couldn’t he at least be happy for me? I got a job. It wasn’t something personal against him.

He told me his depression feels like a weight dragging us both down. That he doesn’t want to leave me, but he feels like he's making my life harder. No matter how much I try to reassure him that I love him, I feel like I can’t help him. Like we’re slowly drifting apart.

He’s been struggling to find a job where he lives—it’s a small town in the middle of nowhere in Texas. And I know it’s been eating away at him. I know that. And I feel so guilty. Like I’m a monster for being okay while he’s not.

This past week, I had training for my new job. It wasn’t difficult—but emotionally, it was awful. It felt like I was mourning the love of my life. He told me his love doesn’t feel as strong as it used to, and that he hates that feeling. He even admitted that a part of him had been hoping I would fail, just because he was hurting. He said he felt guilty for it, but hearing that broke me.

Yesterday, things were fine between us. But today, I casually said I was surprised how high-pitched my voice can get when I talk to strangers—like a customer service voice.

All he replied with was “:/” and then he went offline. He’s been ignoring me since. I feel awful. I hate myself so much right now.